TL;DR: Influencers aren't inherently "bad" role models, but they are professional brands. The danger isn't usually the content itself, but the parasocial relationship—where your kid feels like they’re best friends with a millionaire who is actually just trying to sell them Prime Energy Drink or a Roblox skin. To navigate this, we need to move from "monitoring content" to "teaching media literacy."
Quick Links for the Influencer Era:
If you’ve ever walked into the living room and heard your kid talking to the TV like they’re on a FaceTime call, you’ve witnessed a parasocial relationship. It’s a one-sided bond where the viewer feels a deep, personal connection to a creator who doesn't actually know they exist.
Back in the day, we had posters of boy bands on our walls. We knew they weren't our friends. But today’s influencers—from MrBeast to Charli D’Amelio—film in their bedrooms, talk directly into the camera using "we" and "us," and share "vulnerable" moments. For a 10-year-old, that feels like friendship.
When a "friend" tells you to buy something, it’s a recommendation. When a brand tells you to buy something, it’s an ad. Kids often can't tell the difference because the influencer has blurred those lines on purpose.
It’s easy to dismiss influencer culture as "brain rot" (looking at you, Skibidi Toilet), but kids are drawn to these creators for legitimate reasons:
- Community: In a world where kids have less "third place" freedom (like roaming the neighborhood), Discord servers and YouTube comment sections provide a sense of belonging.
- Agency: Influencers often showcase a DIY lifestyle. Whether it’s building a massive structure in Minecraft or starting a small business on Etsy, they make adulthood look accessible and fun.
- The "Vibe": Sometimes it’s just about the humor. If your kid says something is "so Ohio," they’re participating in a shared digital language that makes them feel "in." It’s the modern version of 90s slang, just delivered at 5G speeds.
Not all creators are created equal. Here’s a breakdown of the common archetypes your kids are likely following.
The "Edutainers" (The Gold Standard)
These creators use the influencer format to actually teach something. They are high-energy but high-value.
- A former NASA engineer who makes science genuinely thrilling. He’s the peak "good role model" because he emphasizes curiosity, the scientific method, and persistence.
- While mostly trick shots, they emphasize clean fun, teamwork, and a positive "bro-culture" that isn't toxic.
The "Hustlers" (The Mixed Bag)
These creators focus on stunts, giveaways, and massive scale.
- Jimmy Donaldson is the king of the internet. On one hand, he’s a philanthropist who builds houses and gives away millions. On the other, his content is a masterclass in hyper-capitalism and attention-hacking. He’s a great entry point for a conversation about "Is it still charity if you film it for views?"
- The OG of "unboxing." For younger kids, this is pure consumerism disguised as play. It’s not "bad," but it’s essentially a 24/7 commercial for toys.
The "Lifestyle" Icons (The Safety Concern)
These are the creators on TikTok and Instagram who sell an image of perfection.
- He’s moved from "controversial prankster" to "serious businessman/wrestler," but the core of his brand is still high-octane ego. He’s the reason your kid is begging for Prime.
- The "Get Ready With Me" (GRWM) Girls: These influencers often push high-end skincare (like Drunk Elephant) to 9-year-olds who definitely don't need retinol. It’s a breeding ground for body image issues and "Sephora Kid" syndrome.
Check out our guide on the "Sephora Kid" phenomenon and its impact on young girls
Ages 5-8: The "Everything is Real" Phase
At this age, kids don't understand that Ryan’s World is a multi-million dollar corporation. They think Ryan is their friend who has a lot of toys.
- The Strategy: Stick to YouTube Kids or curated channels like Storyline Online. Avoid "unboxing" videos, which are designed to trigger dopamine hits and "I want that" meltdowns.
Ages 9-12: The "Parasocial" Phase
This is when the bond gets deep. They start following "squads" and "houses."
Ages 13+: The "Identity" Phase
Teens use influencers to help build their own identities. This can be great (finding niche hobbies) or dangerous (falling into "manosphere" rabbit holes or extreme diet culture).
- The Strategy: Focus on the algorithm. Talk about how TikTok tries to keep them angry or obsessed to keep them scrolling.
Ask our chatbot about how to talk to boys about Andrew Tate and toxic masculinity
If you come at your kid with "that YouTuber is a bad influence," they will shut down. They feel like you’re attacking their friend. Instead, try these conversation starters:
- "How does this person make money?" This is the most important question. Do they sell merch? Do they get 'likes'? Do they have a brand deal? Helping a kid see the "sales pitch" behind the "vibe" is a superpower.
- "What would their life look like if the camera was off?" Help them realize that a 10-minute vlog takes 20 hours to edit. It’s a performance, not a reality.
- "Why do you think the algorithm showed us this?" Make the algorithm the "bad guy" instead of the creator. "Man, YouTube really wants us to stay annoyed today, doesn't it?"
While Screenwise is all about intentionality over bans, there are some clear red flags that an influencer is moving from "entertainer" to "harmful":
- The "Us vs. Them" Mentality: If a creator tells your kid that "parents don't want you to know the truth" or "schools are just brainwashing you," they are using cult-like tactics to deepen the parasocial bond.
- Extreme Consumerism: If every single video is a "haul" or a giveaway that requires a purchase, they aren't a role model; they’re an infomercial.
- The "Hustle" at all Costs: Creators who suggest that school is useless and the only way to succeed is to "grind" on Roblox or crypto are setting kids up for burnout and financial risk.
Learn more about the 'Hustle Culture' influencers targeting young boys
Influencers are the celebrities of the 2020s. We can't keep our kids away from them entirely, and frankly, some of them are actually pretty cool. Mark Rober might inspire your kid to become an engineer, and a cozy games streamer might help them find a way to de-stress.
The goal isn't to find the "perfect" influencer role model. The goal is to make sure your kid knows that they are the person in the driver's seat, not the person on the screen.
- Watch together: Spend 20 minutes watching your kid's favorite creator. Don't judge, just observe.
- Check the "Screenwise Score": Use our search tool to see what other parents are saying about specific creators.
- Take the Survey: If you're worried about how much time your kid is spending in these digital worlds, take our Screenwise family survey to get a personalized roadmap for your digital wellness.
Ask our chatbot for a list of positive influencers for a 10-year-old boy
Ask our chatbot for a list of positive influencers for a 12-year-old girl