TL;DR
If you don't have time to read the full breakdown, here are the top media picks for sparking conversations about healthy boundaries, consent, and "green flags" in relationships:
- Ages 4-8: Bluey (for peer boundaries) and Elephant & Piggie books (for friendship dynamics).
- Ages 9-12: The Baby-Sitters Club (for navigating changing friendships) and Steven Universe (for emotional intelligence and consent).
- Ages 13+: Heartstopper (the gold standard for healthy communication) and Sex Education (for older teens to discuss complex consent and red flags).
- The "Red Flag" Warning: Watch out for the "I can fix him" tropes in The Summer I Turned Pretty or the toxic intensity in It Ends With Us.
Ask our chatbot for a personalized list of shows based on your kid's favorite tropes
We’ve all been there. You’re sitting on the couch, and your kid is glued to a show where the main characters are "shipping" (rooting for a romantic couple) characters who, frankly, treat each other like garbage. Or maybe your middle schooler is explaining a "situationship" they saw on TikTok, or why a certain influencer has "negative rizz" because they don't respect boundaries.
It’s easy to roll our eyes at the slang, but the media our kids consume is basically a 24/7 laboratory for their future relationships. Whether it’s a Roblox roleplay or a Netflix binge, they are absorbing blueprints for how to love, how to fight, and what to tolerate.
The goal isn't to ban the "trashy" shows (though some are definitely unwatchable), but to use them as a springboard. We want to move beyond just "who ends up with who" and start talking about why certain behaviors are actually massive red flags.
By the time kids hit middle school, nearly 70% of them are engaging with some form of social media or immersive gaming where "romance" is a primary theme. On Roblox, kids "OD" (online date) in "Brookhaven," often mimicking dramatic adult relationship tropes they’ve seen on YouTube.
If we aren't talking to them about these tropes, the algorithm is doing the teaching for us. And let’s be real: the algorithm doesn't care about your kid’s emotional safety; it cares about engagement, and toxic drama is the ultimate engagement hack.
Teaching healthy relationships doesn't have to feel like a PSA. Some of the best "teaching moments" come from shows that are actually high-quality and entertaining.
Ages 4-8 It’s the GOAT for a reason. Bluey is the best resource we have for teaching "social-emotional" boundaries. Episodes like "Yoga Ball" teach kids that it’s okay to say "that’s too rough" or "I don't like that," even to people they love. It’s the foundation of consent before they even know what that word means.
Ages 8-12 If you want to talk about "fusion" as a metaphor for relationships, this is it. It emphasizes that a healthy relationship shouldn't make you lose your individual identity. It also features some of the best depictions of healthy LGBTQ+ relationships and the importance of verbal consent in all interactions.
Ages 12+ This show is almost too healthy, but in a world of Euphoria (which is basically a manual on what NOT to do), we need it. Heartstopper shows characters actually talking about their feelings, asking for permission to touch, and supporting each other through mental health struggles without it becoming a "trauma bond."
Ages 7-11 Relationships aren't just romantic. This book is a masterclass in "found family" and how to build a community based on mutual need and respect rather than just shared genetics or proximity.
Not all media is helpful. In fact, some of the most popular "romance" media for teens is loaded with "red flags" that are framed as "romantic." If your teen is reading Colleen Hoover or watching reality dating shows, you need to be ready to pivot the conversation.
1. The "I Can Fix Him" Trope
We see this everywhere from The Summer I Turned Pretty to classic Disney movies. The idea that a girl’s love can transform a "bad boy" or a brooding, emotionally unavailable guy into a prince is dangerous.
- The Talk: "Do you think it’s Conrad’s job to manage his own feelings, or is it Belly’s job to fix them for him?"
2. Love Bombing as Romance
In many YA books and shows, a character will show up with 100 roses, track a girl's phone to "keep her safe," or become instantly obsessed. In media, this is "true love." In real life, this is stalking and love bombing, which are early signs of domestic abuse.
- The Talk: "If someone you just met started showing up everywhere you went and calling you 50 times a day, would that feel sweet or a little scary?"
3. The "Enemies to Lovers" Trap
This is the most popular trope on "BookTok" (the book-focused side of TikTok). While it’s fun in fiction, it can teach kids that "if he’s mean to you, it means he likes you." This is the 2026 version of "he pulled your hair because he has a crush on you."
- The Talk: "In real life, if someone is consistently mean to you, they aren't 'repressing feelings'—they’re just being a jerk. You deserve people who are kind from the jump."
Elementary (K-5)
Focus on friendship boundaries. Use games like Minecraft to talk about "griefing" (destroying someone else's work). If a friend destroys your digital house, is that a good friend? How do we set a boundary there?
Learn more about navigating friendship drama in Minecraft
Middle School (6-8)
This is the era of the "situationship" and digital ghosting. Kids this age are often using Snapchat to communicate. Talk about the "Snap Score" and the pressure to keep "Streaks" alive. Is a relationship healthy if it’s based on the pressure of an algorithm?
High School (9-12)
This is when you can get into the heavy hitters. If they are watching Sex Education or Never Have I Ever, talk about the "messy" parts. Relationships are complicated, and media often skips the "boring" parts of consent and communication because it doesn't make for good TV.
The fastest way to get a teen to stop talking is to say, "We need to have a serious talk about healthy relationships." Instead, try these low-pressure entries:
- The "What would you do?" approach: While watching a show, ask: "If your friend was dating someone who acted like [Character X], what would you tell them?"
- The "Green Flag" challenge: Ask them to point out one "green flag" (a healthy behavior) they saw in a YouTube video or a TikTok.
- The "Bank Account" metaphor: Explain that every interaction is either a deposit or a withdrawal. Does this character make more deposits or withdrawals in their partner's "emotional bank account"?
Media is a mirror, but it’s often a distorted one. Your job isn't to be the "Content Police," but to be the "Content Contextualizer." By acknowledging that The Summer I Turned Pretty is a fun read while also pointing out that Jeremiah and Conrad both have some toxic traits, you’re teaching your kid to be a critical consumer.
You want them to be the person who can enjoy a dramatic "ship" on screen but recognizes a red flag the second it walks through the door in real life.
- Audit the "Ship": Ask your kid who their favorite fictional couple is right now. Go watch a 10-minute "edit" of them on YouTube to see the vibes.
- Set Digital Boundaries: Use our guide on how to set up Snapchat parental controls to ensure their digital flirting stays within safe bounds.
- Diversify the Feed: Encourage them to follow creators who talk about healthy boundaries and self-respect, not just "prank" couples who thrive on fake drama.
Ask our chatbot for conversation starters about specific Netflix shows