TL;DR: The "Stranger Danger" talk we got in the 90s is officially obsolete. In the world of Roblox and Fortnite, "strangers" aren't scary people in vans—they’re the person offering free skins in the lobby or a "friend of a friend" on Discord. To keep kids safe, we need to stop talking about who to avoid and start talking about which behaviors are "tricky."
Check out our guide on setting up Roblox parental controls
Learn how to manage Discord privacy settings
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We tell our kids "don't talk to strangers," and then we hand them a tablet where the entire point of the game is to interact with people they don't know. Whether they’re playing Among Us or hanging out in a "hangout" map on Roblox, the line between "stranger" and "online friend" is incredibly thin.
The reality? About 40% of kids in grades 4-8 have chatted with someone they didn't know in real life while playing games online. By high school, that number jumps significantly. If we stick to the "don't talk to strangers" script, our kids will just stop telling us who they’re talking to because, in their mind, "stranger" equals "bad guy," and the person they’ve been questing with for three weeks feels like a "bro."
Instead of focusing on the person, focus on the behavior. We want to teach kids to spot "tricky people." A tricky person is anyone—regardless of age or how "nice" they seem—who tries to get a child to break family rules or keep a secret.
In the digital "lobby," tricky behavior usually follows a predictable pattern. It’s less about a sudden "scary" moment and more about a slow "grooming" process that feels like friendship.
The Red Flags of the Lobby
- The Gift Giver: They offer free Robux, rare skins, or high-level items. "Hey, I have an extra Dragon in Adopt Me!, want it for free?"
- The Platform Hopper: They immediately try to move the conversation off the monitored platform. "This chat is laggy, add me on Snapchat or Discord."
- The Secret Keeper: They create an "us vs. them" mentality. "Your parents wouldn't get why this is funny, let's just keep this between us."
- The Over-Sharer: They share "personal" (often fake) information to guilt the child into sharing back. "I'm having a really hard day and I have no one to talk to, what's your school like?"
Not all apps are created equal when it comes to stranger interaction. Here’s the breakdown of the high-traffic areas:
Roblox is the king of the "lobby" experience. Because many games are social simulators (like Brookhaven), the entire point is to roleplay with strangers. The risk here isn't just the chat; it's the "friend request" culture where kids collect hundreds of "friends" they’ve never met. Read our full guide on Roblox social safety
Discord is where the "Platform Hopping" usually ends up. While it’s great for organized gaming groups, the DM (Direct Message) feature is a major blind spot for parents. If your kid is on Discord, they are one click away from a conversation that has zero filters.
The lobby in Fortnite is loud. Voice chat is the primary concern here. While the game itself isn't "brain rot," the unmoderated audio from a random squad member can range from "Ohio" memes to aggressive hate speech or grooming attempts.
Public servers (like Hypixel) are different from "Realms." On a public server, your child is in a room with thousands of others. On a Realm, it’s an invite-only party. Knowing the difference is the first step in digital wellness.
Ages 6-9: The "Walled Garden" Phase
At this age, kids shouldn't be in open lobbies at all.
- The Rule: No chatting with anyone we don't know in real life.
- The Setup: Use parental controls to disable chat entirely on Roblox or stick to curated, safe platforms like PBS Kids or Messenger Kids.
- The Talk: "Online games are like a big park. We only play with people we brought to the park with us."
Ages 10-12: The "Training Wheels" Phase
This is when the pressure to "friend" people online starts.
- The Rule: "The Lobby Rule"—you can chat about the game in the public chat, but no private DMs, and no moving to a second app.
- The Setup: Friends-only messaging. Check the "friends" list once a week together.
- The Talk: Explain the "Gift Giver" red flag. "If someone you don't know offers you something valuable for free, they usually want something in return. In our house, we don't accept 'lobby gifts'."
Ages 13+: The "Critical Thinking" Phase
By now, they’re likely on Discord or Instagram.
- The Rule: Full transparency about who they are talking to. If they feel the need to hide a conversation, that’s a sign the conversation is "tricky."
- The Setup: Privacy settings that prevent "random" DMs from people who aren't in shared servers.
- The Talk: Discuss the concept of "social engineering." Help them understand that people online can pretend to be anyone—a 14-year-old girl can be a 40-year-old man. It's not about being cynical; it's about being "Screenwise."
If you want to dive deeper into how to have these conversations without being the "cringe" parent who ruins the fun, check these out:
- For Kids (Ages 6-10): The Technology Tail by Julia Cook is a great way to talk about digital footprints and online interactions.
- For Tweens (Ages 10-13): Ready Player One (the book, more than the movie) actually has some great themes about online identity and who people "really" are.
- For Parents: The Social Dilemma on Netflix is a must-watch to understand the "attention economy" that keeps kids glued to these social lobbies.
Check out our list of the best books about digital safety for kids
Don't wait for a "incident" to have the talk. Bring it up while they’re actually playing.
"Hey, who's that you're questing with? Oh, a random? Cool. Did they say anything weird today or just game talk? Remember, if anyone asks you to move to Discord or starts asking about where we live, just 'ghost' them. I won't be mad, I'll actually be impressed you spotted a tricky person."
By making it a "skill" they can master (spotting the tricky person) rather than a "fear" they have to live with, you empower them. You want your kid to be the one who says, "Lol, that’s a total grooming move," and blocks the user, rather than the kid who feels guilty for talking to a "stranger."
We can't keep them out of the digital lobby forever. The goal of Screenwise parenting isn't to build a wall around our kids; it's to build a compass inside them. When they can spot a "tricky person" from a mile away, they can enjoy Roblox and Fortnite without you having to hover over their shoulder every second.
- Audit the Friends List: Sit down with your kid tonight and go through their Roblox or PlayStation Network friends list. If they can't tell you who a person is in real life, it’s time to hit "unfriend."
- Turn off "Random" DMs: Check the settings on every app they use to ensure only "Friends" can message them.
- Use the Screenwise Survey: If you're not sure where your family stands compared to your community, take our digital habits survey to get a personalized roadmap.
Ask our chatbot for a script on how to talk to a 10-year-old about online grooming
Learn more about the "Tricky People" concept vs "Stranger Danger"