We all remember the feeling of watching The Breakfast Club movie for the first time. The fist pump. The Simple Minds soundtrack. The idea that if we just sat in a library long enough, we’d finally understand each other. It’s a foundational piece of teen cinema.

But if you’ve rewatched it lately with your 2025 eyes, you probably felt a little... twitchy.

Specifically, the "romance" between Claire (the Princess) and Bender (the Criminal). In 1985, Bender’s aggressive, insulting, and physically invasive behavior was framed as "edgy" flirtation. In 2026, it’s a textbook case of harassment. There is a specific scene where Bender hides under Claire’s desk and touches her inappropriately without her consent. At the end of the movie, she gives him her earring, essentially "rewarding" the behavior.

Then there’s the Allison (the Basket Case) makeover. The message? You’re only worthy of the Jock’s attention once you put on some pink eyeshadow and stop being "weird."

If you're planning a family movie night, don't cancel the screening. Instead, use it as a low-stakes way to talk about high-stakes topics like consent, "alpha" posturing, and the "I can fix him" pipeline.

Our kids are growing up in a digital landscape where "rizz" (charisma) is often confused with persistence, and "alpha" influencers are telling boys that dominance is the only way to get the girl.

When we watch a "classic" like The Breakfast Club movie, we aren't just looking at a time capsule. We’re looking at the blueprints for how many of our current tropes were built. If we don’t point out the flaws in the blueprint, our teens might think the behavior is still acceptable—or worse, expected.

Molly Ringwald herself wrote a powerful piece for The New Yorker a few years ago about rewatching her own films with her daughter. She pointed out that while she still loves the movies, she was "intermittently horizontal with discomfort" at the sexual harassment scenes. If the star of the movie can call it out, so can we.

Check out our guide on how to talk to boys about "Alpha" influencer culture

When you’re sitting on the couch with your teen, keep an eye out for these three specific themes to discuss:

Bender relentlessly insults Claire’s family, her "purity," and her looks. In 80s movie logic, this means he likes her. In the real world, this is verbal abuse. Ask your teen: "If someone talked to your friend like that at school, would you think they were flirting or being a bully?"

This is the big one. Bender is under the desk, and he touches Claire. She is clearly uncomfortable and doesn't give consent. Later, they kiss. This teaches a dangerous lesson: that "no" or "stop" is just a hurdle to be cleared before the inevitable "yes."

Allison is a fascinating, artistic character who is basically forced into a conventional beauty mold to be "seen" by Andrew. It’s a classic John Hughes movie trope, also seen in Pretty in Pink movie. It’s a great opening to talk about why we feel the need to change ourselves to fit into digital "aesthetics" or social groups.

The goal isn't to ruin the movie for them. It’s to build their "cringe-dar"—the ability to spot when media is selling them a toxic bill of goods.

The "Molly Ringwald" Opening: "I read that the actress who played Claire, Molly Ringwald, actually felt really uncomfortable rewatching this with her daughter because of how Bender treats her. Did any of those scenes feel weird to you, or does that just seem like 'normal' movie stuff?"

The Consent Check-In: "In that scene under the desk, Claire definitely didn't say it was okay for him to do that. Why do you think the movie makes it seem okay in the end? How would that play out on TikTok or in a group chat today?"

The "I Can Fix Him" Discussion: "Claire seems to think that because Bender has a hard home life, his behavior is excusable. Do you think having a hard time gives you a pass to treat people poorly?"

Ask our chatbot for more conversation starters about teen dating and consent

If you want to show them media that handles these themes with a bit more grace (and actual consent), try these:

Don't let the title scare you. This show is arguably the best resource for teens to see what enthusiastic consent looks like. It covers everything from boundaries to identity with humor and heart.

If you want the "warm and fuzzy" feeling of an 80s romance without the harassment, this is it. It’s a beautiful look at how to ask for permission and respect someone's space.

For older teens, this movie satirizes the very tropes John Hughes created. It’s raunchy, weird, and very funny, but it turns the "jock/nerd" dynamic on its head.

This captures the actual angst of being a teenager without needing to resort to problematic "makeovers" or harassment to drive the plot. Hailee Steinfeld's character is messy and real.

The Breakfast Club movie is still worth watching. It’s a masterclass in character archetypes and has one of the best scripts of the era. But we can’t just let it play in the background while we scroll our phones.

By calling out the "cringe" moments, we’re teaching our teens that they don’t have to accept the "Benders" of the world just because they’re charming or "misunderstood." We're teaching them that their boundaries matter more than a movie's plot point.

And honestly? If they walk away thinking Bender is a "try-hard" with "no rizz," you’ve probably done your job.

Next Steps:

Learn more about how to navigate "cringe" content with your kids