Let's start with the apps that aren't exciting but are kind of the whole point of getting them a device in the first place:

Communication apps - This is probably why you're doing this. Whether it's the default messaging app, WhatsApp, or something else your family uses, you need a way to actually reach your kid. If they're coordinating with friends, you'll also want to think about whether group chats are happening and what platform those are on.

Family locator - Life360, Find My iPhone, Google Family Link—pick your poison. Yes, it feels Big Brother-ish. Yes, your kid will complain. But when they miss the bus or you're trying to figure out if they made it to their friend's house, you'll be glad you have it. Just be upfront about it. Here's how to talk about location tracking without making it weird.

Calendar/scheduling - If they're juggling sports, activities, or just need to know when they're getting picked up, a shared family calendar saves everyone's sanity. Google Calendar or Apple Calendar work great, and honestly, teaching them to check a calendar is a legitimate life skill.

Depending on their age and school setup, they might need:

School-required apps - Google Classroom, Canvas, Seesaw, whatever your district uses. These are non-optional, but the good news is they're usually pretty locked down and purposeful.

Homework help - Apps like Khan Academy or Photomath can be genuinely useful. Just know that they can also be used to completely avoid learning anything. It's a balance. Set expectations early about when calculator apps and AI help are okay versus when they need to actually do the work.

Reading apps - If your family uses Kindle, Libby (for library books), or Epic, these are solid additions. Reading on a device isn't everyone's preference, but having books accessible can mean they actually read during downtime instead of just scrolling.

They're going to want entertainment apps. You can't just hand them a communication device and expect them to use it like a 1995 Nokia. Here's where to start:

Music/podcasts - Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube Music—whatever your family subscribes to. Music is pretty harmless, and honestly, having access to podcasts can be great. Shows like Brains On! or Wow in the World are legitimately engaging and educational.

Streaming video - If you're comfortable with it, Netflix, Disney+, or YouTube (or YouTube Kids for younger kids) might make sense. Just know that YouTube is a rabbit hole, and even with restrictions, the algorithm is designed to keep them watching. Read more about YouTube vs. YouTube Kids here.

Games - This is where it gets tricky. Some parents start with no games at all. Others allow a few carefully chosen ones. If you're going to allow games, think about whether you want single-player puzzle games (like Monument Valley) or multiplayer social games (like Roblox or Minecraft). The latter come with chat features, in-app purchases, and a whole other layer of monitoring. Learn about Roblox parental controls before you say yes.

These are apps that kids will inevitably ask for, but you might want to hold off on for the first device:

Social media - TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat—these are where most of the drama, comparison, and mental health concerns live. Most experts (and honestly, most parents who've been through it) recommend waiting as long as possible. If your kid is under 13, they technically can't have accounts anyway (though that doesn't stop everyone). If they're older and you do allow it, start with heavy restrictions and build from there.

Messaging apps with strangers - Discord, Omegle (god, please not Omegle), or any app where they can chat with people they don't know IRL. These can wait.

Shopping apps - Amazon, Venmo, Cash App—unless there's a specific reason they need these, hold off. Financial literacy is important, but impulse buying on a device is a hard habit to break.

Whatever apps you include, you need to set up parental controls before you hand over the device. This isn't helicopter parenting; it's scaffolding. You can loosen restrictions as they prove they can handle it.

Screen time limits - Both iOS and Android have built-in screen time management tools. Use them. Set daily limits, downtime hours (like no screens after 9 PM), and app-specific limits.

Content restrictions - Block explicit content, restrict app downloads, and require approval for purchases. You can adjust these as they get older.

Monitoring tools - Apps like Bark, Qustodio, or Google Family Link let you see what they're doing without literally reading every text. The goal isn't to spy; it's to catch red flags early.

Start minimal, add gradually. It's way easier to add apps later than to take them away. Start with the essentials and let them earn more access.

Talk about why, not just what. Don't just say "you can't have TikTok." Explain why—whether it's about mental health, time management, or age-appropriateness. Kids are more likely to respect boundaries they understand.

Expect them to test boundaries. They will delete apps before you see them. They will try to get around screen time limits. They will ask their friends to download things for them. This is normal. It's also why you need to check in regularly and keep communication open.

Model good behavior. If you're on your phone constantly, they will be too. If you put your phone away during dinner, they'll learn that's the norm. Kids are watching.

There's no perfect app list for every kid's first device. It depends on their age, maturity, why they're getting the device, and your family's values. But starting with communication, a few educational tools, and carefully chosen entertainment—while holding the line on social media and unrestricted access—is a solid foundation.

The first device is a test run. You're teaching them how to use technology responsibly, not just giving them a toy. Set clear expectations, check in often, and adjust as you go.

And hey, if you're feeling overwhelmed by all of this, Screenwise can help you figure out what's right for your family's specific situation. You're not alone in this.