TL;DR: A Family Tech Agreement isn't a list of "thou shalt nots"—it’s a collaborative roadmap that moves you from being the "Screen Time Police" to being a digital mentor. It covers everything from Roblox spending limits to why we don't bring phones to the dinner table.
Quick Links for the Agreement Toolkit:
We’ve all been there. You’re trying to have a nice family dinner, but your ten-year-old is vibrating because they’re missing a "limited drop" in Fortnite, and your teenager is currently doomscrolling TikTok under the table like it’s a covert spy mission. You find yourself shouting about "brain rot" or "Ohio memes" (even if you’re not 100% sure what they mean), and suddenly, you’re the villain in a story about Wi-Fi passwords.
The problem isn't the tech; it's the lack of a shared script. Most of us parent our kids' digital lives reactively—we wait for a problem to happen, then we make a rule. A Family Tech Agreement flips that. It’s a proactive, "no-BS" document that you co-design with your kids so everyone knows the rules of the road before the car is out of the driveway.
Think of it as a peace treaty for the digital age. It’s a written (yes, actually written) document that outlines how your family uses technology. It covers the what (which apps are okay), the when (time limits and "tech-free zones"), and the how (expectations for kindness and privacy).
It’s not just for the kids, either. If you’re checking your email during their soccer game, you’re breaking the vibe. A real agreement holds the adults accountable too.
The digital world moves fast. One day they’re watching Bluey and the next they’re asking why everyone is saying "Skibidi" and trying to buy Robux with your saved credit card.
Without an agreement, every single request—"Can I have five more minutes?", "Can I download Snapchat?", "Why can't I play Grand Theft Auto V?"—becomes a fresh battle. An agreement provides a framework so the answer is already there. It moves the conflict from "Mom is being mean" to "We agreed that M-rated games are a no-go until high school."
1. The "Quality Over Quantity" Clause
Not all screen time is created equal. An hour spent coding on Scratch or learning a language on Duolingo is fundamentally different from an hour spent watching mindless YouTube shorts of people dropping Mentos into Coke bottles.
Your agreement should distinguish between:
- Active Creation: Coding, digital art, making music.
- Active Learning: Khan Academy or listening to the Brains On! podcast.
- Social Connection: Playing Minecraft with school friends.
- Passive Consumption: The "zombie mode" scrolling.
2. The Financial Boundaries
Let’s talk about Roblox. Is it teaching entrepreneurship? Maybe a little. Is it mostly a sophisticated way to get kids to beg for $10 increments of digital currency? Absolutely.
Your agreement needs a hard line on "In-App Purchases." Whether it’s V-Bucks in Fortnite or skins in Among Us, kids need to know if they’re using their allowance, earning "tech credits," or if the bank is simply closed.
Learn more about how Robux is in fact real money
3. The "Physical World" Zones
Decide where tech lives and where it doesn't. Common "Tech-Free Zones" include:
- The dining table (no phones, no exceptions).
- Bedrooms after a certain hour (phones charge in the kitchen).
- The car (at least for short trips—let them be bored!).
Instead of screens, encourage "analog" alternatives like Catan or reading The Wild Robot by Peter Brown.
Elementary (Ages 6-10)
At this age, you are the curator. They shouldn't be "exploring" the open web. Stick to walled gardens like YouTube Kids (with heavy filters) or PBS Kids.
- The Agreement Focus: "Ask before you download." Every new game, from Toca Life World to Coolmath Games, needs a parent's "okay."
Middle School (Ages 11-13)
This is the "Wild West" phase. This is when the pressure for Discord and TikTok hits a fever pitch.
- The Agreement Focus: Privacy and Reputation. Talk about the "Grandma Rule"—don't post anything you wouldn't want your grandmother (or a future college admissions officer) to see. This is also the time to introduce monitoring tools like Bark or Google Family Link, not as a "spy" tool, but as a "safety net."
High School (Ages 14+)
By now, they need more autonomy, but with accountability.
- The Agreement Focus: Self-regulation. Instead of you turning off the Wi-Fi, the agreement should focus on them recognizing when they’ve been on Instagram for too long and feeling "gross" about it.
You will fail at this. There will be a rainy Tuesday when you have a deadline and your kid watches three hours of MrBeast while eating crackers on the couch.
That’s fine. The agreement isn't a suicide pact; it's a baseline. When things go off the rails, you don't have to invent a punishment—you just point back to the document and say, "We got a bit off track today. Let’s reset tomorrow."
Also, be ready for the "But everyone else has it!" argument. According to Screenwise community data, while it feels like every 4th grader has an iPhone, the actual percentage of kids with unmonitored smartphones at that age is much lower than the "loud" kids make it seem. Use the data to stay grounded.
Check out our guide on navigating the "but everyone else has a phone" talk
Don't present the agreement as a finished document. Sit down with a pizza and a blank sheet of paper (or a Screenwise template).
Ask them:
- "What do you think is a fair amount of time for gaming on weekends?"
- "What are the apps your friends are using that you’re curious about?"
- "What’s one rule you want me to follow with my phone?" (Warning: they will say "stop checking your phone at my games," and they will be right.)
A Family Tech Agreement takes the emotion out of the equation. It replaces "Because I said so" with "Because this is what we value as a family." It acknowledges that Roblox is fun and TikTok is addictive, but that our time and our brains are worth protecting.
If you’re looking for a place to start, we recommend looking at alternatives to YouTube or checking out stardew-valley-game as a "bridge" game that you can play together.
- Download a template: Use a Screenwise-approved agreement template to get the juices flowing.
- Audit your apps: Go through their tablet or phone together. If there's an app you don't recognize, ask our chatbot about it.
- Schedule a "Beta Test": Try the agreement for one week. See where the friction is, and then meet again to tweak it.
Digital parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. The agreement is just your hydration station. Stay intentional, stay curious, and don't be afraid to say "no" to the brain rot.
Ask our chatbot for a customized Family Tech Agreement draft