TL;DR: If you’re looking for a "set it and forget it" solution to keep your kids safe online, I have bad news: it doesn't exist. But if you want a solid pair of digital training wheels, Bark is the gold standard for monitoring content without being a total creep, while Aura is the heavy-duty choice for families worried about identity theft and predators. For basic screen time limits, Apple Screen Time and Google Family Link are free and "fine," but they’re notoriously glitchy and easily bypassed by any kid who knows how to use Google.
Handing a kid a smartphone is a lot like handing them the keys to a Ferrari. It’s a miracle of engineering that can take them anywhere in the world, but if they don't know how the brakes work, they’re going to end up in a ditch. Or worse, in a weird corner of the internet where people are unironically obsessed with Skibidi Toilet and everything "Ohio" is the peak of comedy.
We all want our kids to be "Screenwise"—to have the internal compass to navigate Roblox without getting scammed or to scroll TikTok without losing three hours of their life to "brain rot" content. But until that compass is calibrated, we need parental controls. Not as a surveillance state, but as training wheels.
When we talk about "device management," we’re looking at three different layers of tech:
- Built-in OS Controls: These are the "free" settings on your iPhone or Android. They’re great for "Hey, you’ve had 30 minutes of Minecraft, time to go outside."
- Network-Level Filters: These live on your router (like Gryphon or Circle) and can shut down the whole house’s internet at bedtime.
- Third-Party Monitoring Apps: These are the heavy lifters like Bark or Qustodio that actually look at the content of what’s being sent and received.
The goal isn't to catch your kid doing something wrong so you can "gotcha" them. The goal is to provide a safety net while they learn. Most kids don't want to see graphic violence or get groomed by a "free Robux" scammer, but they don't always have the impulse control to look away.
Parental controls give you a reason to have the hard conversations. When Bark pings you because your 12-year-old is searching for something concerning, it’s an invitation to talk, not a reason to take the phone away forever.
Learn more about the psychology of digital boundaries
Best for: The "Trust but Verify" Parent. Bark is unique because it doesn't give you a live feed of everything your kid does. Instead, it uses AI to scan texts, emails, and 30+ social platforms for "red flags" (bullying, predatory behavior, suicidal ideation). If it finds something, it sends you an alert with a snippet of the conversation.
- The Pro: It respects the kid's privacy while still keeping them safe.
- The Con: It can be a bit of a pain to set up on iPhones due to Apple's privacy walls.
- Age Range: 10-16.
Best for: Total Family Security. Aura is like a digital fortress. It handles parental controls (blocking sites, time limits), but it also includes identity theft protection, a VPN, and anti-fraud tools. If you’re worried about your kid’s SSN ending up on the dark web because they tried to get a "hack" for Fortnite, Aura is your best bet.
- The Pro: Incredible all-in-one value for the whole family.
- The Con: The parental control features aren't quite as granular as Bark's AI monitoring.
- Age Range: All ages.
Best for: The "Hard Limits" Parent. If your kid is struggling with a legitimate screen addiction—like they physically cannot stop playing Brawl Stars—Qustodio is the hammer. It is very good at "hard stops." When time is up, the device is a brick.
- The Pro: Excellent cross-platform support (Kindles, PCs, Phones).
- The Con: It feels the most "Big Brother-ish" to kids, which can lead to them trying to hack it.
- Age Range: 6-13.
Best for: The "Good Enough" Parent. It’s already on your phone. It’s free. It lets you approve app downloads and set "Downtime."
- The Pro: No extra subscription.
- The Con: Kids have found a million workarounds (changing the time zone, screen recording the password, etc.). It’s also prone to random glitches where settings just... disappear.
- Age Range: 5-10.
Elementary School (Ages 5-10)
At this age, it’s all about curation. They shouldn't be on open social media yet. Use YouTube Kids rather than the main YouTube app. Focus on "whitelist" apps—meaning they can only go to the sites you approve, like PBS Kids or Adventure Academy. Check out our guide on the best educational apps for 7-year-olds
Middle School (Ages 11-13)
This is the danger zone. This is when they want Snapchat and Discord. This is the time for monitoring. Use something like Bark to keep an eye on the "vibe" of their chats. They need more freedom, but they still need you to be the "safety officer" in the background.
High School (Ages 14-18)
By now, the training wheels should be coming off. If you’re still hard-locking their phone at 9:00 PM when they’re 17, they aren't learning how to manage their own sleep hygiene before they head to college. Switch to transparency. Maybe you keep location sharing on for safety, but you stop monitoring their texts unless they give you a reason to worry.
Ask our chatbot about transitioning to less restrictive controls
Here is the truth: Your kid will eventually find a way around these apps.
They will use a friend's phone. They will find a "proxy" website at school. They will figure out that if they factory reset their iPad, the controls might drop off.
If you rely only on the app, you will lose. The app is there to buy you time and to provide data for conversations. If Bark tells you your kid is spending 4 hours a day on Instagram, don't just block the app. Sit them down and ask, "Hey, I noticed you're spending a ton of time on Insta lately. How does it make you feel? Do you feel like you're missing out on other stuff?"
Don't install these apps in secret. That is the fastest way to destroy trust. Try this script:
"Hey, we're getting you this phone because it's a great tool, but it's also a big responsibility. To help you learn how to use it safely, we're using Bark. It’s not so I can read your private jokes with friends, but so the app can alert me if something actually dangerous happens. As you show me you can handle things, we'll turn these settings down."
Get more scripts for talking to kids about tech
Parental control apps are not a substitute for parenting. They are a utility.
The best "parental control" is a kid who feels like they can come to you when they see something weird online without getting their phone taken away. The app just helps you know when that "something weird" might be happening.
- Take the Screenwise Survey: Understand your family's specific digital footprint.
- Pick One Tool: Don't over-complicate it. Start with one app that solves your biggest pain point (usually screen time or safety).
- Have the "Digital Contract" Talk: Lay out the rules before the app is even installed.
Ask our chatbot which app is best for your specific phone models