Here's the thing: a 6-year-old and 9-year-old are in completely different developmental stages when it comes to media comprehension. Your first grader is still learning to separate fantasy from reality and might get genuinely worried about cartoon villains. Your fourth grader? They're developing more sophisticated humor, can handle mild peril, and are probably rolling their eyes at anything too "babyish."

But here's what makes this combo work: 9-year-olds still have one foot in childhood. They're not teenagers yet. They'll still laugh at physical comedy, get invested in animated characters, and enjoy a good adventure story. The overlap is real—you just need to know where to look.

The challenge is that your 9-year-old is also hyper-aware of what their friends are watching. They might push for Stranger Things or Wednesday because "everyone at school has seen it," but those shows are genuinely too intense for most 6-year-olds (and honestly, for many 9-year-olds too, despite what "everyone" is doing).

Let me give you the actual goods—movies that have worked for thousands of families with this exact age spread:

Encanto - This is the gold standard right now. Catchy songs for the 6-year-old, deeper family dynamics for the 9-year-old, and honestly some emotional moments that might make you tear up. The bonus? No scary villain, which makes bedtime easier.

The Mitchells vs. The Machines - Hilarious for both ages, visually stunning, and the tech/internet humor will land with your older kid while the slapstick works for the younger one. Fair warning: it's about a robot apocalypse, but handled in a very kid-friendly way.

Turning Red - Your 9-year-old will appreciate the pre-teen protagonist and the themes about growing up and identity. Your 6-year-old will love the giant red panda. Win-win.

Paddington and Paddington 2 - Genuinely delightful for all ages. Warm, funny, a little bit of tension but nothing traumatizing. These are perfect "everyone ends up happy" movies.

Moana - The lava monster (Te Kā) might be slightly intense for sensitive 6-year-olds, but most handle it fine, especially if you preview it or watch together. The journey, music, and humor work across both ages.

The Incredibles and The Incredibles 2 - Superhero action that's exciting but not graphic. The family dynamics are relatable, and there's enough humor to balance the action sequences.

Big Hero 6 - Has an emotional opening (heads up: a character dies, though not on-screen), but Baymax is so lovable that both kids will be invested. Good blend of heart and action.

Ponyo - Studio Ghibli magic. Gentle, beautiful, weird in the best way. Perfect for when you want something that won't wind everyone up before bed.

Luca - Sweet summer friendship story. Minimal conflict, gorgeous visuals, and themes about being yourself that resonate with 9-year-olds without going over 6-year-old heads.

Ratatouille - Cooking rats! The food humor and physical comedy work for younger kids, while the themes about following your dreams and proving yourself land with older elementary kids.

Look, I know your 9-year-old is lobbying hard for Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse or Jurassic World, and honestly? Those movies are probably fine for them. But for family movie night with a 6-year-old in the mix, save them for a special older-kid outing or a time when your younger one is at a sleepover.

The PG-13 superhero movies (Marvel Cinematic Universe stuff, most DC films) are genuinely too intense for 6-year-olds. The violence is more realistic, the stakes feel higher, and you'll likely end up with a scared little kid at 2am.

Anything with realistic peril or death - Jumanji, Jurassic Park, even The Lion King can be rough for sensitive 6-year-olds (Mufasa's death is REAL).

Here's the practical stuff that makes the difference between a magical family moment and a meltdown:

Let them take turns choosing - One week the 9-year-old picks (from pre-approved options), next week the 6-year-old picks. This teaches compromise and prevents the "it's not fair!" spiral.

Preview if you're unsure - Common Sense Media is your friend. If a movie is rated for ages 7+, watch the first 15 minutes yourself to gauge if your specific 6-year-old can handle it. All kids are different.

Set expectations - Tell your 9-year-old: "This is family movie night, so we're choosing movies everyone can enjoy. You and I can watch [insert cooler movie] together another time." Then actually follow through on that promise.

Pause for bathroom breaks and questions - Your 6-year-old will need to pee. Your 9-year-old will have questions about plot points. This is normal and good. You're not in a theater—use the pause button.

Sit between them if needed - If your older kid tends to make commentary that scares the younger one ("oh no, that character is definitely going to die!"), strategic seating helps.

Have the remote ready - If something unexpectedly intense happens, you can fast-forward. No shame in that game.

Real talk: snacks make or break movie night. Let them have some input here too. Popcorn is the classic, but sometimes letting your 6-year-old choose between apple slices or pretzels, and your 9-year-old pick the candy, gives them both ownership of the experience.

And honestly? Movie night can be a time when you relax the usual rules a bit. It's a special occasion. Learn more about how to think about treats and special occasions in a way that doesn't derail your general approach.

This will happen. Your 9-year-old has their own taste developing, and that's healthy. Here's how to handle it:

Create "big kid" movie time - Maybe Saturday morning is when you or your partner watches something more age-appropriate with just the 9-year-old. This honors their growing independence while keeping family movie night inclusive.

Use it as a teaching moment - "I know you want to watch The Hunger Games, and we'll get there! But right now, we're choosing movies the whole family can enjoy together. When you're a bit older, we'll have different movie nights."

Let the 9-year-old be the "helper" - Sometimes giving them a special role ("can you help me make sure your sister isn't getting scared?") makes them feel mature rather than babied.

I know, I know—you're trying to be intentional about screen time, and now I'm suggesting you add a 90-minute movie to the mix. Here's the thing: not all screen time is created equal.

Family movie night is shared media experience. You're together, you're talking about what you're watching, you're building shared references and memories. This is fundamentally different from your kid zoning out on YouTube or mindlessly scrolling TikTok.

Research consistently shows that co-viewing—watching together and discussing—is one of the most beneficial ways families can engage with media. You're modeling media literacy, helping them process emotions, and creating connection.

That said, movie night doesn't have to be every night (or even every week). For most families with this age range, once a week or every other week hits the sweet spot. It's special enough to feel like a treat, but not so frequent that it crowds out other activities.

Finding movies that work for both a 6-year-old and 9-year-old is absolutely doable—you're in that golden window where there's still significant overlap in what captures their imaginations. Focus on animated adventures with heart, humor, and just enough excitement to keep your older kid engaged without traumatizing your younger one.

The real win of family movie night isn't the movie itself—it's the ritual. It's everyone actually being in the same room, sharing an experience, laughing together. Even if your 9-year-old spends half the movie explaining the plot to their younger sibling, that's connection.

And when your older kid inevitably says "this is babyish," remember: they're still sitting there watching it. They're still laughing. They're not as grown as they think they are, and that's okay.

This week: Pick one movie from the list above that you haven't tried yet. Let your kids vote between two pre-approved options—this gives them agency while keeping you in control of the content.

Make it special: It doesn't have to be elaborate, but some kind of ritual (special blanket, dimmed lights, popcorn in a fun bowl) signals that this is different from regular TV time.

Talk about it after: Even just "what was your favorite part?" helps kids process what they watched and gives you insight into how they're interpreting media.

And hey, if you need help figuring out if a specific movie will work for your family, ask about any movie or show and get personalized guidance based on your kids' ages and sensitivities.

You've got this. Now go make some popcorn. 🍿