TL;DR: The "Ask-to-Buy" feature is your first line of defense against "accidental" $100 spending sprees on virtual cat hats. It turns every digital transaction into a conversation, preventing impulse buys in games like Roblox and Brawl Stars.
Quick links for high-risk spending apps:
- Roblox (The king of "just five more dollars")
- Fortnite (V-Bucks are a lifestyle, apparently)
- Toca Life World (Deceptively expensive aesthetic upgrades)
- Minecraft (Marketplace skins and maps add up)
There is a specific kind of cold sweat that breaks out when you see a notification from the App Store at 2:00 PM on a Tuesday.
If you haven't set up "Ask-to-Buy," that notification might be a receipt for $99.99 worth of "Gems" or "Robux." If you have set it up, it’s just a request waiting for your "Yes" or "No."
In the world of digital parenting, friction is usually the enemy. We want things to be seamless. But when it comes to your bank account and your child’s developing impulse control, friction is your absolute best friend.
Ask-to-Buy is a gatekeeper feature found in Apple Family Sharing and Google Family Link.
When your child finds an app they want to download—or an in-app purchase they want to make—they hit the "Buy" or "Get" button. Instead of the transaction going through instantly, a request is sent to your device. You see what they want, how much it costs, and the age rating. You can then approve it with your FaceID/password or decline it with a tap.
It’s essentially the digital version of your kid standing in the cereal aisle holding a box of sugar-coated lightning, waiting for you to nod or shake your head.
Yes, we want to protect our bank accounts. But Ask-to-Buy is actually a stealthy tool for digital financial literacy.
Most kids under 12 don’t actually understand that Robux or V-Bucks are real money. To them, it’s just a number on a screen that goes up when you press the shiny button. By requiring an approval, you are forcing a "pause" in the dopamine loop of gaming.
This pause allows you to ask:
- "How many hours of chores is this $10 skin worth?"
- "Is this a game you’ll still be playing next week?"
- "Are you buying this because it helps you play, or just because it looks 'Ohio'?" (Translation: weird/cringe/bad—though sometimes they use it to mean 'weirdly good,' it’s a moving target).
Not all apps are created equal when it comes to their "Ask-to-Buy" frequency. Some apps are designed to be "whale traps"—games that specifically target people (including kids) to spend huge amounts of money through psychological tricks.
Roblox is the biggest offender. Because it’s a platform of millions of individual games, the pressure to "look cool" or "level up" is constant. Your kid isn't just buying one thing; they are being marketed to by thousands of different developers within the app. Check out our guide on Roblox parental controls
This game is a masterclass in the "loot box" mechanic. You aren't always buying a specific item; you’re often buying a chance to get a specific item. This is essentially gambling-lite. Ask-to-Buy allows you to see just how many "Mega Boxes" your kid is trying to gamble away.
This one catches parents off guard because it looks so wholesome and creative. While it is a great digital dollhouse, it is sliced into hundreds of tiny $0.99 to $9.99 purchases. A new house here, a furniture pack there, and suddenly you’ve spent $150 on digital wallpaper.
On the flip side, if an Ask-to-Buy request pops up for a Duolingo subscription or a "streak repair," that’s a very different conversation. This is where you can reward digital responsibility.
Ask our chatbot about the most expensive "free" games for kids
How you use Ask-to-Buy should evolve as your kid grows.
Ages 5-9: The "Hard No" Phase
At this age, the answer to in-app purchases should probably be "no" 95% of the time. Stick to one-time purchase apps that don’t have recurring costs.
- Recommendation: Sago Mini World or Endless Alphabet.
- Strategy: Keep Ask-to-Buy on for everything, including free apps. You want to know exactly what is being downloaded to ensure they aren't accidentally getting into YouTube Kids rabbit holes you aren't ready for.
Ages 10-12: The "Allowance" Phase
This is the sweet spot for teaching. You might give them a $10 monthly budget. When the Ask-to-Buy request hits your phone, you check your "ledger" (or just your memory). If they’ve spent their ten bucks, the request gets declined.
- Recommendation: Encourage them to look for high-value games like Minecraft or Stardew Valley which provide hundreds of hours of play for a single price.
Ages 13-15: The "Trust but Verify" Phase
By now, they might have their own debit card (like Greenlight or Step). You can technically turn off Ask-to-Buy, but many parents keep it on for "Free" apps just to stay in the loop about what social media they are trying to join. If they want to download TikTok or Snapchat, you’ll know the second they try.
"Ask-to-Buy" isn't just about money; it's about data and safety.
Many "free" apps on the App Store are basically malware-adjacent or data-harvesting machines. If your child tries to download a "Free Robux Generator" (spoiler: they don't exist) or a sketchy "Skin Creator" app, Ask-to-Buy gives you the chance to look at the developer and the privacy label before that app gets access to your child’s device and your home Wi-Fi.
When your kid complains that "none of my friends have to ask their parents," (which is statistically a lie, by the way), here is how to frame it:
"I'm not doing this because I don't trust you. I'm doing this because these apps are designed by thousands of very smart engineers whose entire job is to trick your brain into clicking 'Buy.' My job is to be your backup brain until yours is fully finished building."
It’s not about control; it’s about co-regulation.
The "Ask-to-Buy" button is the simplest, most effective tool in your digital parenting toolkit. It costs nothing, takes thirty seconds to set up, and prevents both financial leaks and "brain rot" app accumulation.
If you haven't turned it on yet, do it today. It changes the dynamic from you being the "policeman" who finds out about a purchase after the fact, to you being the "consultant" who helps them make better choices.
- Check your settings: Ensure Apple Family Sharing or Google Family Link is active.
- Audit the current apps: Look at what’s already on their phone. Are they playing Monopoly Go? (If so, delete it—that game is a slot machine in a tuxedo).
- Set a budget: Decide if you are a "No in-app purchases" house or an "Allowance" house.
- Talk about the "Why": Explain that the button is there to protect the family's "real world" goals—like that summer trip or a new bike—from being eaten by virtual hats.