Social media is a new language, not a moral question
Homayoun's starting point is that social media is neither good nor bad. It is a new language, and parents need to speak it to help kids make good choices online and in real life. She wrote the book because she saw the same paradox in her students over and over: the devices they need to do their schoolwork are also their biggest distraction. Meanwhile, many kids want to talk to an adult about what they see online and do not always have someone to turn to.
Ana Homayoun. Photo from anahomayoun.com.
Three S's: socialization, self-regulation, safety
The framework is simple enough to remember at the dinner table. Healthy socialization means friendships, online and off, that leave a kid better off. Effective self-regulation means kids learn to manage their own time and attention, because adults cannot police it forever. Safety covers privacy, strangers and what lasts once it is posted. The first three chapters decode how tweens and teens interact online, through public profiles, private messages, disappearing and anonymous posts and live video, so parents know what they are talking about before they start the conversation.
From multitasking to monotasking
The second half is the part families use. Homayoun's strategies for homework time:
- Pomodoro sessions: 25 minutes of work, then a 5-minute break.
- The phone goes in another room on airplane or silent mode. Research she points to shows a phone lying face down on the desk still drags on focus.
- Two screens, or two modes: a work screen with distractions blocked and notifications off, and a social screen for later.
- Start with awareness. Most kids and adults do not know how much time they spend online. Tracking it as a family turns a lecture into a shared project.
She also pushes parents to make it collaborative and even fun. Most talks about screens run on anger, frustration and fear, she argues, and adults are wrestling with the same distractions.
Homayoun at the Sonoma Speaker Series, September 2024. Photo from anahomayoun.com.
Written in 2017, before TikTok
The book came out a year before TikTok launched in the US and long before AI chatbots, so its tour of platforms is a snapshot of 2017. The three S's and the monotasking habits hold up; the app-by-app details do not. Pair it with a newer screens book such as Behind Their Screens, and for the bedtime side, see social media FOMO and late-night use. Homayoun has since written Erasing the Finish Line (2023), about what kids need for success beyond grades and college admissions.
Watch her explain it
The book's trailer, with Homayoun on why she wrote it:
Homayoun on social media wellness for tweens and teens, for TMJ4 News:
