A 14-year-old's grief, worked through in World of Warcraft
Etchells's father died of motor neurone disease when Etchells was 14. Games were his escape at first. Later they became the place where he thought about death. On the anniversary of his father's death he would hunt for a rare mount in World of Warcraft, the Time-Lost Proto-Drake. In Minecraft he rebuilt a log cabin from memory, the one where he and his father had stayed on a trip to Yosemite.
World of Warcraft, the game Etchells played on the anniversaries of his father's death. Image from IGDB.
The research says the effects are small, in both directions
Etchells became a researcher after reading a headline claiming games cause dementia in children. His verdict after years of study is balanced. "If you believe the positive effects, then you've got to accept that the negative effects are there as well," he told Ars Technica. "My feeling is that video games might have a slight effect on us, either good or bad, but they're not massive effects." He co-authored a paper arguing that the World Health Organization's move to classify gaming addiction as a disorder rested on weak science, and the book explains why.
Some games are built to help kids through hard things
The most moving chapters are about games made for a purpose. Re-Mission sends players inside a body to fight cancer; in a randomized trial, teens with cancer who played it stuck to their treatment better. Last Day of June, a short game about a man reliving memories of his wife after a car crash, "absolutely broke me," Etchells told Ars Technica. In interviews about the book he has also pointed to Apart of Me, made for kids who have lost a parent.
Carl and June in Last Day of June, a game about grief Etchells writes about. Image from IGDB.
Last Day of June. Image from IGDB.
Parents of gamers will find a translator here
This is not a parenting manual. There are no time limits, ratings charts or advice on in-game spending, so pair it with a practical guide for those. What it gives a parent is a way into why games matter to the kid holding the controller, which makes the conversations about limits easier. Reviewers who are lifelong gamers, including one who lost himself in a game after his own mother died, called it a book that redeems the people who play.
Read it with
Etchells turned the same approach to phones and social media in Unlocked (2024). Jordan Shapiro's The New Childhood makes a related case for playing video games with your kids.
