The Onion is an American comedy institution, but it was never built for children. Its writing mimics the dry, confident cadence of mainstream journalism to skewer politics, corporate speak, and modern anxiety. If your high schooler is reading it, they are getting a crash course in irony and rhetorical style.
For anyone younger, it backfires. Elementary and early middle school kids lack the news diet required to spot the parody, meaning they either get confused or scared by outrageous headlines about war, crime, and public disasters.
Keep the app off your seventh grader's phone, but if your tenth grader discovers the site, read a few pieces together and look at how the writers construct a joke around real-world power dynamics.




