Elif Batuman’s The Idiot is the ultimate 'nothing happens' book that somehow feels like everything is happening. It’s set in the mid-90s, when email was new and people still sent long, rambling letters to each other. It's a vibe, not a thriller.

If your teen is the type to over-analyze a text message for three hours, they will see themselves in Selin. It’s brilliant, it’s funny, and it’s very long. The 3.8 Amazon rating tells you everything: half the people think it’s a masterpiece of modern literature, and the other half are wondering when the plot is finally going to start.

It’s not unsafe in any traditional sense, but it is a massive time commitment. For a sophisticated teen, it’s a great way to prepare for the intellectual and social awkwardness of university life. Just don't expect a fast-paced Hollywood ending.