Siblings Without Rivalry

Siblings Without Rivalry

book

1987

WISE
92%

WISE Score

4.6

Amazon

The ultimate cheat code for stopping the back-seat bickering without losing your mind.

Amazon4.6
Common Sense Media

Where to Read

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Screenwise Verdict

Look, it was written in 1987, so the kids in the illustrations look like they’re about to go see The Breakfast Club, but the advice is bulletproof. Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish basically invented the idea that you shouldn't just tell your kids to 'be nice' but actually give them the tools to handle their own beefs.

It’s not a dry textbook. It’s full of comics and 'try this' scenarios that make it weirdly readable for a parenting book. If you're tired of being the referee and want to become a coach instead, this is the one. It’s a classic for a reason and arguably the most useful thing you'll ever put on your nightstand.

Age Fit

This is a book for parents, but the techniques are designed for children from toddlerhood through the teen years. If you can read, you can use it.

WISE Breakdown
Wholesome
95

It is the gold standard for teaching emotional intelligence and cooperation. It models how to handle conflict without shame or punishment.

Imaginative
62

While it's a non-fiction manual, the 'role-play' scenarios and comic-strip format require parents to creatively rethink their daily interactions and step into their kids' shoes.

Safe
100

It is a physical book for parents. Zero safety risks, no digital tracking, and no inappropriate content for the intended adult audience.

Enriching
98

Few books offer as much practical value for family dynamics. It teaches conflict resolution skills that kids carry into adulthood.

Parent Info

Why It Might Be Great

  • Uses simple comic strips to show you exactly what to say when the screaming starts.
  • Moves away from the 'fairness' trap (treating kids exactly the same) and focuses on individual needs.
  • Teaches kids how to resolve their own fights so you don't have to be a permanent referee.
  • The advice is timeless, focusing on human psychology rather than parenting fads.

What to Watch For

  • The 1987 vibes are real; you'll see some dated references to technology and clothing in the illustrations.
  • It requires a mindset shift that can be exhausting to implement when you're already burnt out.

Conversation Starters

  • "How do you feel when I compare you to your brother/sister?"
  • "What do you think is a fair way to decide who gets the front seat next time?"
  • "When you guys are fighting, what's one thing I do that actually makes it worse?"

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