If your teen is asking to watch Should I Marry a Murderer? on Netflix, the answer isn't a hard "no," but it’s definitely a "let’s talk about it first" because this show is a masterclass in the kind of psychological red flags we usually hope our kids never encounter in the wild.
TL;DR: Should I Marry a Murderer? is a viral Netflix documentary that explores the intense, often disturbing world of hybristophilia—the attraction to those who commit crimes. Screenwise rates this for ages 15+ due to heavy themes of domestic violence, manipulation, and trauma; however, it serves as an excellent, if gritty, jumping-off point for conversations about relationship red flags and digital safety.
Let’s be real: the title is total clickbait, and it works. This Netflix documentary dives into the stories of individuals who intentionally seek out romantic relationships with convicted killers. It isn't just a "true crime" show about the murders themselves; it’s a psychological deep dive into why someone would be drawn to danger and how "love" can be used as a tool for manipulation.
The show follows several high-profile cases where letters, prison visits, and eventually, marriage proposals happen behind bars. For a teenager who grew up in the era of TikTok "storytimes" and viral "red flag" trends, this content feels very current. It’s less about the "who-dun-it" and more about the "why-would-you-do-that?"
You’ve probably seen the "Red Flag" emoji 🚩 all over your kid's feed. In 2026, "red flag culture" is a primary way teens communicate about boundaries and toxic behavior. While the scenarios in this doc are extreme, the underlying themes—gaslighting, isolation, and "love bombing"—are the exact things we want our kids to recognize in their own dating lives (even if they're just "talking" on Snapchat).
Screenwise data shows that about 65% of high school juniors and seniors are regularly consuming true crime content. They aren't just watching it for the gore; they’re watching it to understand the "dark side" of human nature. If they’re going to watch it anyway, we might as well use it to build some media literacy.
To be honest, Should I Marry a Murderer? is a bit of a mixed bag. On one hand, the production value is high, and the psychological experts they interview provide genuine value. On the other hand, it’s Netflix—they know how to lean into the sensationalism.
At Screenwise, we give this a WISE score of 68/100. It’s informative, but it can be "brain rot" adjacent if watched purely for the shock factor without any context. If your teen is looking for something with a bit more substance and less sensationalism, we usually recommend The Social Dilemma for a look at how platforms manipulate us, or even Stardew Valley if they just need a break from the heavy stuff to build some healthy (digital) relationships.
Before you hit play (or let them hit play), here are the big things to keep in mind:
- The "I Can Fix Him" Narrative: The show highlights a dangerous trope that many teens find romantic—the idea that their love is special enough to change a "bad" person. This is a crucial point to debunk.
- Graphic Descriptions: While it’s not a slasher flick, the descriptions of the crimes are detailed. If your teen is sensitive to violence or descriptions of domestic abuse, this is a hard pass.
- Digital Grooming Parallels: Much of the initial contact in these stories happens through correspondence that looks a lot like modern online grooming. The "murderer" in the show often uses the same tactics—isolation and flattery—that a predator uses on Discord.
Don't treat this like a lecture. Treat it like you're dissecting a weird internet mystery together.
- Ask about the "Why": "Why do you think these people feel the need to reach out to someone in prison? What are they looking for that they aren't finding in their real-life community?"
- Define Love Bombing: The show features a lot of it. Explain that when someone you barely know starts telling you you're the "only one who understands them," that’s usually a 🚩, not a compliment.
- Discuss the Victims: It’s easy to get caught up in the "romance" of the documentary. Remind your teen that there are real victims and families behind these stories. It helps ground the sensationalism in reality.
Check out our full guide on talking to teens about toxic media
Q: What age is 'Should I Marry a Murderer?' appropriate for?
Screenwise recommends this for ages 15 and up. The themes of psychological manipulation and the descriptions of violent crimes are too heavy for middle schoolers, but it can be an educational tool for older teens with parental guidance.
Q: Is 'Should I Marry a Murderer?' ok for a 13 year old?
Probably not. While every kid is different, the documentary deals with complex psychological trauma and domestic violence that most 13-year-olds aren't quite ready to process without feeling overwhelmed or anxious.
Q: Does 'Should I Marry a Murderer?' show actual violence?
It mostly uses archival footage, photos, and reenactments. You won't see the murders happening in real-time, but the crime scene descriptions and photos are intense and definitely earn the TV-MA rating.
Q: Is there a cleaner version of this show?
Not really, but if you want to talk about "red flags" without the murder, shows like The Good Place actually do a great job of exploring ethics and what makes a "good" or "bad" person in a much lighter way.
Should I Marry a Murderer? is the kind of show that will be all over Instagram and TikTok for the next month. If your teen wants to watch it, use it as a bridge to talk about the real-world 🚩 red flags that matter. It’s not "brain rot" if it leads to a two-hour conversation about boundaries, safety, and why we should never, ever send our home address to a stranger—even if they seem "misunderstood."
- Watch the first episode together. It’s the best way to gauge your teen's reaction and see if they’re actually interested in the psychology or just the shock value.
- Check your settings. Ensure your Netflix parental controls are updated so they aren't auto-playing similar heavy content.
- Balance the diet. If you watch something this heavy, follow it up with something light. Maybe a round of Mario Kart 8 or an episode of The Great British Baking Show.
Ask our chatbot for more recommendations for teen-safe documentaries