Phubbing is a portmanteau of "phone" and "snubbing." It’s that thing we all do (yes, us too) where we look at our phone in the middle of a real-life conversation. Technoference is the broader term for how technology interrupts our daily lives—like when a Snapchat notification breaks the flow of a family dinner.

Research shows that even just having a phone visible on a table during a conversation lowers the quality of that interaction. It signals to the other person: "You have my attention, but only until something more interesting pops up on this 6-inch piece of glass."

For our kids, this is their baseline. They are "virtually social" 24/7 on Discord or Roblox, but they’re losing the "soft skills" of face-to-face talk: reading body language, managing silence, and practicing empathy.

Ask our chatbot for tips on reducing phubbing at home

It’s easy to say "just put the phone down," but we have to understand why they’re so glued to it. Face-to-face communication is high-stakes. It’s "live." You can’t edit a text, you can’t use a reaction emoji to hide your actual face, and you can’t ghost someone when the conversation gets awkward if they’re standing right in front of you.

Apps like Instagram and Snapchat provide a "buffer." They allow kids to curate their best selves. But that buffer is a double-edged sword. It makes the "unbuffered" world feel terrifyingly raw. This is why your teen might have 50 "friends" in a group chat but feels like they have no one to sit with at lunch.

Not all screen time is created equal. If we want to fix the phubbing habit, we should lean into media that requires face-to-face interaction or models how to be a decent human.

This is the ultimate "communication" game. One person looks at a bomb on a screen; the other person has the "manual" (printed out or on another device) but can't see the screen. You have to talk, listen, and stay calm to win. It’s stressful, hilarious, and the absolute antithesis of mindless scrolling.

If you haven't seen this yet, it’s a masterclass in explaining the "socially stressed" feeling to kids (and parents). It tackles Anxiety as a character, showing how the internal "noise" makes it hard to connect with the people right in front of us. It’s a great conversation starter for kids ages 6 to 16.

I’m a huge advocate for moving back to the table. Catan is great because it requires negotiation. You can’t win without talking to people and making deals. It’s "entrepreneurship" without the Roblox scam vibes.

For older kids (12+), this show is brilliant. It’s literally a comedy about how to be a good person and how our actions affect others. It’s way better than the "brain rot" reality shows or the hyper-stylized "teen dramas" that make every conversation look like a monologue from a soap opera.

Let’s be real: these are the enemies of deep communication. The sub-60-second dopamine loop trains the brain to expect constant novelty. When a real-life friend takes five seconds to think of a word, the "TikTok brain" gets bored and looks for a phone. I’m not saying ban them (good luck with that), but recognize them for what they are: digital candy, not social sustenance.

Read our guide on how TikTok impacts attention spans

At this age, it’s about foundations. They’re still learning how to take turns and look people in the eye.

This is the "Skibidi Toilet" and "Ohio" phase. Everything is ironic, everything is a meme.

This is where phubbing becomes a major relationship issue—both with you and their peers.

Before we judge the kids, we have to look at our own habits. Do you check your email at the red light? Do you scroll Instagram while your kid is telling you about their day?

Our kids are "phubbing" because they’ve been "phubbed" by us since they were in strollers. It’s a hard truth, but it’s the most important one. If we want them to value face-to-face communication, we have to show them that they are more interesting than our phones.

Try this: The next time your kid walks into the room to talk to you, physically put your phone face down or in another room. It’s a silent signal that says, "You are the priority."

Check out our guide on modeling healthy digital habits

Digital connection is "easy," but face-to-face connection is "rich." Our kids are opting for easy because they’re out of practice with rich.

We don't need to go full Luddite and throw the iPhones in the trash. We just need to create intentional spaces where the "buffer" is removed. Whether that's through a grueling game of Catan or a shared laugh over a Bluey episode, the goal is the same: reminding them that the most important "likes" happen in person.

Learn more about the impact of social media on teen social skills