TL;DR: The Analog Survival Kit If your kid is currently "offline"—whether you’re doing the Wait Until 8th pledge or they just haven't earned a Gabb Watch yet—they need a specific set of "analog" skills.
- The Big Three: Memorize two phone numbers (with area codes!), know your full address, and have a family "Safe Word."
- Safe Strangers: Teach them to look for "moms with kids" or "people in uniform" rather than the outdated, terrifying "Stranger Danger" rhetoric.
- The "What If" Game: Practice scenarios like getting lost at the mall or missing the bus without the help of a Google Maps crutch.
- Media that helps: Read The Wild Robot by Peter Brown for resilience or watch Bluey for situational problem-solving.
We spend a lot of time worrying about what’s happening on the screen—the "brain rot" content, the Skibidi Toilet rabbit holes, or whether Roblox is just a gateway drug for gambling. But there’s a massive, often overlooked gap in the digital wellness conversation: What happens when the screen isn't there?
In an era where we can track our kids' every heartbeat via a Giselle watch or an AirTag in their shoe, we’ve accidentally raised a generation that is "directionally challenged" and "digitally dependent." If the battery dies or the signal drops in a "totally Ohio" (weird/bad) neighborhood, does your kid know how to get home? Or even how to call you?
Being an intentional parent isn't just about limiting TikTok usage; it’s about ensuring that if your child is separated from you—and their tech—they have the mental software to handle it.
In the 90s, we all had a mental Rolodex of our friends' landlines. Today? Most kids (and, let’s be honest, many adults) don't know their partner's phone number without tapping a glass screen.
1. The "Phone Number Song"
If your kid is under 10, they need to memorize your number. Don't just recite it; put it to a beat. Use the tune of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" or a simple Spotify beat they like. Pro-tip: Make sure they know the area code. In the age of cell phones, a 7-digit number is useless.
2. The Address Test
"I live in the blue house near the park" doesn't help a 911 operator or a helpful librarian. They need the full street address and city. Practice this like a password to get into Minecraft time.
3. The "Safe Word"
This is non-negotiable. Pick a word that is unique, easy to remember, but not something a stranger could guess (no, "Pizza" is not a good safe word). If anyone—an aunt, a neighbor, or a "friend of the family"—is sent to pick them up in an emergency, they must know the word. If they don't have it, your kid doesn't go.
We grew up with "Stranger Danger," but modern safety experts agree: it's actually pretty terrible advice. If a kid is lost, they need a stranger. Telling them all strangers are dangerous just makes them hide in a bush when they should be seeking help.
Finding "Safe Strangers"
Teach your kids to look for "Helpers" (shoutout to Mr. Rogers).
- Moms with kids: This is the gold standard. A woman with children is statistically the safest person for a lost child to approach.
- Employees with name tags: People working at the register in Target or the front desk of a library.
- Uniformed officers: Police, fire, or even mall security.
The Script: Teach them exactly what to say. "I am lost. I need you to call my mom at [Number]." No fluff, no "Ohio" behavior—just the facts.
Situational awareness is a muscle. If your kid is always staring at an iPad in the backseat, they aren't learning landmarks. They aren't noticing that the grocery store is three blocks past the library.
How to play:
Next time you're out, ask:
- "What if I suddenly disappeared right now? Who would you talk to?"
- "What if the bus dropped you off at the wrong stop?"
- "What if you went to use the bathroom at the park and couldn't find our picnic blanket?"
This isn't about scaring them; it's about "gamifying" preparedness. It's like a real-life version of The Oregon Trail—minus the dysentery.
Sometimes the best way to teach these skills is through stories where characters have to survive without a smartphone.
Ages 8-12 This is a masterpiece on adaptation. Roz the robot has to learn how to survive on an island without any "tech support." It’s a great conversation starter about what we do when our primary "programming" (or our devices) fails us.
Ages 10+ The ultimate "offline" survival story. While we hope our kids aren't stranded in the Canadian wilderness with nothing but a hatchet, the themes of keeping a cool head and observing your surroundings are timeless.
Ages 3-7 Wait, Bluey? Yes. Episodes like "The Creek" or "Grandad" show kids navigating the world, taking (calculated) risks, and learning to trust their own instincts. It’s the opposite of "brain rot" content like Cocomelon.
Ages 7-11 This is a practical, no-nonsense book that covers everything from "what to do if you’re lost" to "how to handle a bully." It’s a great "analog" resource to keep on the bookshelf.
Ages 5-7: The Basics
Focus on the "Phone Number Song" and identifying "Safe Strangers." At this age, the goal is simply to prevent them from wandering off and ensuring they can be reunited with you quickly if they do.
Ages 8-11: The Navigator
Start letting them lead the way. When you’re walking to the park, let them be the "GPS." If they get it wrong, don't correct them immediately—let them figure out they're going the wrong way. This builds the confidence they'll need if they’re ever actually lost.
Ages 12+: The Logic Phase
By now, they might be asking for a phone. This is the perfect time to explain that a phone is a tool, not a lifeline. Even if they have an iPhone, they should still know how to read a physical map or use a public phone (if they can find one).
Check out our guide on whether your 12-year-old is ready for a smartphone
We often assume that because our kids are "digital natives," they are tech-savvy. They aren't. They are interface-savvy. They know how to swipe on YouTube, but they often don't understand how the underlying systems work.
If the cell towers go down—which happens during natural disasters or even major sporting events—their "safety device" becomes a paperweight. The No-BS Truth: A kid who can't navigate their own neighborhood without Google Maps is a kid who is at risk.
Emergency preparedness for the "offline" kid isn't about being a "prepper" or living in fear. It's about agency. When we give our kids the skills to navigate the world without a screen, we’re giving them confidence. We’re telling them, "You are smart enough and capable enough to handle a problem on your own."
In a world that feels increasingly "Ohio," that’s the best gift you can give them.
- Tonight at dinner: See if your child can recite your phone number. If they can’t, start the "song" training.
- This weekend: Go for a walk and have them "navigate" you to a specific landmark without using a phone.
- Audit your tech: If you are using a tracking device, check out our guide on The Best GPS Trackers for Kids to see if you’re using the right tool for the job.