Is this book too 'preachy' for a 4-year-old?

It is definitely instructional, but the rhyming and the character of Jackson keep it from feeling like a lecture. Most kids in this age group actually enjoy having a 'job' to do, like practicing the deep breaths along with the book.

Will this actually stop a tantrum in progress?

Unlikely. Once a kid is in full 'lizard brain' mode, reading a book won't help. This is a preventative tool to build the skills during calm moments so they can eventually use them before the tantrum peaks.

Are there other books in this series?

Yes, the 'I Choose' series covers a wide range of emotions and behaviors, including self-control, kindness, and confidence. They all follow a similar rhyming format with Jackson as the lead.

Does it mention any specific religious or spiritual practices?

No. While it uses the word 'zen,' it refers to it in the modern, secular sense of finding a calm mental state. It is entirely focused on basic psychological self-regulation.

I Choose to Calm My Anger – WISE Score & Parent Review | Screenwise

I Choose to Calm My Anger

Name: Screenwise
Author: Screenwise

book2021

82%

WISE Score

Jackson learns that deep breaths and counting to ten beat throwing a tantrum when things don't go his way.

I Choose to Calm My Anger

book

2021

82%

WISE Score

Jackson learns that deep breaths and counting to ten beat throwing a tantrum when things don't go his way.

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Where to Read

Our reviews and ratings are 100% unbiased. Screenwise is a Bookshop.org affiliate and an Amazon Associate, so if you buy a book through one of our links, we may earn a commission. Bookshop.org purchases also support independent bookstores.

Screenwise Verdict

This is a utility book. You don't buy it for the groundbreaking prose or the stunning plot twists; you buy it because your four-year-old just tried to bite the cat and you need a neutral way to talk about anger when things have cooled down.

It is part of that massive wave of Social Emotional Learning (SEL) books that flooded the market in the early 2020s. It’s effective because it gives a name to the feeling and a specific set of 'moves' to make when that feeling hits. It's a solid addition to a 'calm down corner' or a bedtime rotation if you're in a particularly spicy phase of parenting.

Age Fit

Perfect for the 3-to-6-year-old range where 'big feelings' often outpace a kid's vocabulary to describe them.

WISE Breakdown

Wholesome

The book focuses entirely on emotional self-regulation and Jackson's journey from being controlled by his anger to mastering it through deep breathing and mindfulness.

Imaginative

It is a standard didactic picture book. While it uses the concept of a 'happy place' for visualization, its primary goal is instruction rather than creative world-building.

Safe

100

Zero safety concerns. It is a gentle, rhyming social-emotional learning tool designed for young children.

Enriching

Provides concrete, actionable tools for toddlers and preschoolers, such as counting to ten and deep breathing, which are foundational for emotional intelligence.

Parent Info

✓

Why It Might Be Great

Actionable coping tools like deep breathing and the 'count to ten' method are baked directly into the rhyme.
Rhyming structure makes the lessons more memorable for the 3-to-6-year-old crowd.
Direct perspective from Jackson helps kids identify with the physical feeling of being 'controlled' by an emotion.

⚠

What to Watch For

It is a didactic 'lesson book' first and a story second. If your kid is looking for an adventure, this might feel a bit like a lecture in disguise.
The solutions are simplified for a preschool level. It works great for a minor meltdown over a toy, but might feel too basic for older kids dealing with more complex social friction.

Conversation Starters

"Jackson counts to ten when he's mad. What's one thing you can do when you feel that hot feeling in your chest?"
"Can you show me what your 'happy place' looks like in your head?"
"How does your body feel right before you get really, really angry?"

Deep Dive

The Tool-Belt Approach to Parenting

There are two kinds of children's books: the ones you read for the magic of the story, and the ones you read because you're trying to survive the 'threenager' years without losing your mind. I Choose to Calm My Anger sits firmly in the second category.

Jackson, our protagonist, is a relatable proxy for any kid who has ever felt the red mist descend because they had to share a truck or put on shoes. The book doesn't shame the anger; it treats it as a force that can be managed. This is a subtle but important distinction in modern SEL—anger isn't 'bad,' it's just something you need to be 'stronger than.'

Why the Rhyme Works

For younger kids, the rhythmic nature of the book makes the coping mechanisms (breathing, counting, finding 'zen') feel like a chant or a mantra. It’s easier to recall 'breathe in and out deeply' when it rhymes with the previous line.

How to Use It

Don't try to read this while your kid is currently screaming on the floor. That's a losing battle. The move is to read it during the 'peace time'—bedtime or a quiet afternoon—so the vocabulary is already in their head when the next meltdown starts. You can then reference 'Jackson’s deep breaths' as a shorthand. It’s much more effective than just yelling 'Calm down!' into the void.

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