Boys & Sex

Boys & Sex

book

2021, Politics & Social Sciences, Social Sciences

WISE
73%

WISE Score

4.6

Amazon

The parenting book about teenage boys and sex that you need to read but definitely keep on a high shelf away from the kids.

Amazon4.6
Common Sense Media

Where to Read

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Screenwise Verdict

Look, if you have a son approaching or in the thick of adolescence, this book is essential homework. Orenstein doesn't sugarcoat the landscape boys are navigating—the pornography, the pressure, the confusion about consent and masculinity—but she also never loses faith in boys' capacity to be better.

This isn't a book you read with your kid. It's a book you read to become a better equipped parent. The discussions are frank, sometimes uncomfortable, and definitely not kid-appropriate. But that's exactly why it's valuable: Orenstein gives you the real picture of what boys are experiencing and thinking, so you can have smarter, more empathetic conversations.

The 4.6 Amazon rating tells you what you need to know—parents are finding this genuinely useful. It's well-researched, compassionate, and practical. Just keep it on your nightstand, not the family bookshelf.

Age Fit

This is strictly for adults—parents, educators, mentors of teenage boys. The content is far too mature for kids or even most teens, though the insights are invaluable for guiding conversations with sons aged 12-18.

WISE Breakdown
Wholesome
82

Orenstein approaches male sexuality with empathy and nuance, focusing on emotional health, consent, and dismantling toxic masculinity. The book models healthy conversations about intimacy and relationships, treating young men as complex individuals rather than stereotypes. It's fundamentally about helping boys become better, more emotionally aware men.

Imaginative
68

While not imaginative in a creative sense, the book reframes male sexuality in fresh ways, challenging cultural narratives and inviting readers to think differently about gender, power, and intimacy. It's investigative journalism meets social commentary, offering new perspectives on familiar territory rather than creative storytelling.

Safe
45

This is explicitly adult content discussing pornography, sexual violence, hookup culture, and consent in frank terms. While the treatment is educational and responsible, the subject matter includes discussions of boys as both victims and perpetrators of sexual violence, and detailed examination of contemporary sexual culture. Not remotely appropriate for kids to stumble upon, though entirely appropriate for its intended adult audience.

Enriching
91

Exceptional resource for parents, educators, and anyone working with young men. Orenstein provides research-backed insights into male adolescent sexuality, emotional development, and the impact of media and cultural forces. The book offers practical understanding of consent, empathy, and healthy relationships—genuinely paradigm-shifting material that can inform better parenting and mentorship.

Parent Info
✓

Why It Might Be Great

  • Orenstein brings the same groundbreaking approach from Girls & Sex to young men's experiences, filling a crucial gap in how we talk about male sexuality
  • Based on comprehensive interviews with young men, psychologists, and experts—this is research-backed insight, not just opinion
  • Tackles the hard stuff head-on: pornography as sex education, consent in hookup culture, toxic masculinity, and boys as both victims and perpetrators
  • Provides parents with language and frameworks for having better conversations with sons about intimacy, respect, and emotional health
  • 4.6 stars on Amazon and NY Times bestseller—parents are finding it genuinely helpful
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What to Watch For

  • This is 100% an adult book—explicit discussions of sexual content, violence, and pornography make it completely inappropriate for kids or teens to read
  • Heavy subject matter that may be emotionally challenging, especially discussions of sexual assault and violence
  • Best approached as a parent education tool, not something to hand directly to your teenage son (though older teens might benefit from age-appropriate conversations based on its insights)

Conversation Starters

  • ""After reading this, I want to check in—do you feel like you can talk to me about relationships and sex stuff, or would you rather talk to someone else?""
  • ""The book talks about how boys are told to hide their feelings. Do you ever feel pressure to act a certain way around your friends?""
  • ""What do you think guys your age learn about relationships from social media and movies? Is any of it actually helpful?""
  • ""How do you and your friends talk about consent and respect in relationships? Is it something that comes up?""

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