TL;DR: Modern body image issues aren't just about glossy magazines anymore; they are fueled by AI "Bold Glamour" filters, the "Looksmaxxing" subculture, and algorithms that turn insecurities into engagement. To help your kids navigate this, focus on media literacy, diversifying their feeds with apps like BeReal, and watching documentaries like The Social Dilemma together to pull back the curtain on the tech.
If you’ve spent any time on TikTok lately, you might have heard your son talking about "mewing" or seen your daughter obsessing over her "canthal tilt." If that sounds like a foreign language, welcome to the world of Looksmaxxing.
Originally a niche corner of the internet, looksmaxxing has gone mainstream. It’s the practice of attempting to "maximize" one’s physical appearance through everything from basic skincare and gym routines to more extreme (and often pseudoscientific) methods like "bone smashing" or restrictive dieting. While some of it is harmless self-care, the underlying vibe is that your face is a project that needs constant "patching" like a buggy version of Minecraft.
Then there’s the AI factor. We aren't just dealing with the "dog ears" filters of 2016. Today’s AI filters, like the infamous "Bold Glamour," use machine learning to restructure a face in real-time. It doesn't just sit on top of the skin; it moves with the muscles. It shows our kids a "perfect" version of themselves that is biologically impossible to achieve. When they turn the filter off, the real mirror feels like a disappointment. It’s "Ohio"—weird, wrong, and "cringe"—compared to the digital glow-up.
By the time kids hit middle school, the digital world is their primary social reality. Our data shows that roughly 65% of 8th graders report feeling "not good enough" after scrolling through social media for more than an hour.
This isn't just "kids being kids." The Instagram and TikTok algorithms are designed to keep users engaged, and nothing drives engagement like a little bit of insecurity. If a teen lingers on a video about "how to fix a recessed chin," the algorithm will serve them ten more just like it. Before long, their entire "For You" page is a checklist of physical flaws they didn't even know they had.
Learn more about how algorithms shape teen self-esteem
If you're looking for ways to reset the narrative at home, these are some of the best tools for the job.
Ages 13+ BeReal is the "anti-Instagram." It forces users to take a photo of whatever they are doing at a random time of day, using both the front and back cameras, with no filters and no editing. It’s a great way to remind kids that their friends also have messy rooms, bad lighting, and unwashed hair. It’s the "Skibidi" of social media—sometimes nonsensical and raw, but far more honest than the alternative.
Ages 12+ This is essential viewing for parents and teens alike. It explains exactly how the "attention economy" works. When kids understand that their insecurities are being monetized by a bunch of guys in Silicon Valley, it gives them a sense of "main character energy" to fight back against the manipulation.
Ages 14+ A powerful documentary that explores the global body image crisis. It’s a bit heavy for younger kids, but for high schoolers, it’s a fantastic conversation starter about why we are so hard on our physical selves.
Ages 8-12 For the younger crowd, this website offers great interactive tools and videos that explain how "fake" the media they consume really is. It’s a solid foundation before they get their first smartphone.
For Parents If you want to go deep into the history of why we are so obsessed with ourselves, this book is a fascinating (and slightly terrifying) read. It’s not a parenting book, but it will help you understand the cultural water your kids are swimming in.
Elementary School (Ages 5-10)
At this age, the focus should be on function over form. Talk about what their bodies can do (run, jump, draw, play Roblox) rather than what they look like. If they see you using a filter on Snapchat, explain that it’s a digital costume, not a goal.
Middle School (Ages 11-13)
This is the danger zone. This is when the "Looksmaxxing" talk starts to creep in. Focus on media literacy. When you see a perfectly polished influencer on YouTube, point out the ring light, the professional makeup, and the fact that it’s their job to look like that.
Check out our guide on boys and social media pressure
High School (Ages 14-18)
By now, they know the filters are fake, but the emotional impact remains. Encourage them to "curate" their feed. If an account makes them feel like "trash," they should unfollow it. Introduce them to Pinterest for hobby-based scrolling instead of person-based scrolling.
The most important thing to understand is that shame is a terrible teacher. If you catch your teen obsessing over a "looksmaxxing" video, don't mock them. Don't tell them they're being "vain" or "stupid."
Instead, get curious. Ask, "What does that creator say is the benefit of having a 'perfect' jawline?" or "Do you think people in real life actually notice that?"
We also need to look at our own digital habits. If we are constantly criticizing our own appearance in photos or obsessing over our "step count" on a fitness app, our kids are watching. They learn more from our relationship with the mirror than from our lectures about Instagram.
Ask our chatbot for scripts on talking about body image
The digital world isn't going anywhere, and AI filters are only going to get more convincing. We can't "protect" our kids from seeing these images, but we can give them the "armor" of critical thinking.
The goal isn't to make them hate social media; it's to make them smarter than the app. When they can look at a filtered photo and see the math instead of the beauty, you've won.
- Audit the feed: Sit down with your kid and scroll through their "For You" page for 10 minutes. Don't judge, just observe.
- Turn off the "Beauty" settings: Many phones have "face retouching" turned on by default in the camera settings. Turn it off.
- Watch a "Behind the Scenes": Find a YouTube video showing how professional photos are edited. It’s eye-opening.
- Take a "BeReal" approach: Post a photo of yourself doing something mundane and unglamorous. Show them that "real life" is where the fun actually happens.