Dash & Lily: Understanding the Age Gap Between Characters and Actors
The characters Dash and Lily are 17 years old in the Netflix series Dash & Lily, but the actors who play them—Austin Abrams and Midori Francis—were 23 and 24 when filming. This is totally standard for Hollywood (hello, every teen show ever), but it's worth understanding why this matters when deciding if the show works for your middle schooler who thinks they're watching "kids like me."
Bottom line: This is a sweet, age-appropriate holiday romance for teens 13+, but the casting makes it feel more mature than the story actually is—which might make younger tweens feel like they should be doing more sophisticated things than they actually are.
Dash & Lily is a Netflix holiday rom-com series based on the YA book Dash & Lily's Book of Dares by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan. It follows two NYC teens who communicate through a red notebook they pass back and forth in bookstores, challenging each other with dares around the city during Christmas week. It's charming, it's wholesome, and it's got that cozy holiday magic that makes you want to drink hot chocolate and believe in meet-cutes.
The show ran for one eight-episode season in 2020, and while it didn't get renewed, it tells a complete story that wraps up nicely.
The characters are high school seniors. They're dealing with college applications, first relationships, family expectations, and figuring out who they are. The storylines are genuinely age-appropriate—there's kissing, some mild innuendo, but nothing that would make you lunge for the remote.
But the actors look like adults. Because they are. Austin Abrams (Dash) was 23 during filming and had already played a college student in Euphoria (which is decidedly NOT for teens, by the way). Midori Francis (Lily) was 24 and brought a more mature presence to the quirky, sheltered character.
This is Hollywood Standard Operating Procedure. Remember when the cast of Riverdale were supposed to be sophomores but looked like they could be filing taxes? Or when the entire cast of Glee were clearly in their twenties playing high schoolers? It happens because:
- Labor laws: Minors have restricted working hours
- Maturity: Adult actors can handle complex emotional scenes better
- Consistency: Adults don't age as visibly during multi-season shoots
- Chemistry: Studios want actors who can film romantic scenes without legal complications
The problem isn't that this happens—it's that kids watching don't always register the difference. When your 13-year-old sees "17-year-olds" who look 24, dress like they have a Zara budget, and navigate NYC alone at night, it can create unrealistic expectations about what being a teen actually looks like.
The Good Stuff
- Actually wholesome: No sex, no drugs, minimal drinking (one scene with underage drinking that's not glorified)
- Representation matters: Lily is half-Japanese, and her cultural identity is woven into the story naturally
- Family dynamics: Both characters have realistic (if somewhat quirky) family relationships
- Bookish and nerdy: The whole premise celebrates reading, bookstores, and thoughtful communication
- NYC as a character: The show is a love letter to New York during the holidays, which is just delightful
The Watch-Outs
- Sophistication creep: The characters do things most 17-year-olds don't—traverse the city alone at night, attend exclusive parties, have remarkably articulate conversations about feelings
- Body image: Both leads are conventionally attractive and well-dressed, which isn't inherently bad but sets a certain aesthetic standard
- Independence level: If your teen is watching this and thinking "why can't I do that?"—well, because Lily and Dash are fictional characters played by adults with a film crew
- Romance expectations: The grand gestures and perfectly-timed moments are fun but not exactly realistic for most teen relationships
Language and Content
- Language: Mild—a few "hell" and "damn" but nothing harsh
- Romance: Kissing, hand-holding, one scene where characters are in bed together (fully clothed, no sex implied)
- Drinking: One party scene with underage drinking; it's not glorified but it's present
- Themes: Anxiety, family pressure, feeling like an outsider, first love
Common Sense Media rates it 13+, which feels right. I'd say it's perfect for high schoolers and mature middle schoolers who are ready for romance content.
If your kid is watching Dash & Lily and you're worried about the age perception gap, here's how to frame the conversation:
"Did you know the actors playing Dash and Lily are actually in their twenties?"
This isn't about ruining the magic—it's about media literacy. Help your kid understand that:
- TV teens rarely look like real teens because they're played by adults
- This affects how we see ourselves: When "teens" on TV look like adults, it can make real teens feel like they're not measuring up
- It's a business decision, not a reflection of what being a teenager actually looks like
You can also talk about:
- What feels realistic vs. what's TV magic: Would their school actually let them skip class for a scavenger hunt? Probably not.
- Romance in real life: Grand gestures are fun in fiction, but real relationships are built on way less cinematic moments
- Independence and safety: The characters do things alone in NYC that most parents wouldn't allow—and that's okay, it's fiction
Ages 13-15: Great for mature middle schoolers who are ready for romantic content. Watch the first episode together to gauge comfort level. Some kids this age might find Lily's quirky enthusiasm cringe-worthy (which is kind of the point), while others will find her relatable.
Ages 16-18: Perfect. High schoolers will appreciate the humor, the bookish references, and the NYC setting. They're also old enough to understand that this is a heightened, romanticized version of teen life.
Under 13: Probably too mature, not because of content but because the emotional themes (first love, anxiety, family pressure) won't resonate yet. Stick with Alexa & Katie or The Baby-Sitters Club for this age group.
If you're looking for teen content where the actors are closer to the characters' ages:
- Heartstopper: The cast is actually teen-aged, and it shows. Sweet, genuine, and age-appropriate LGBTQ+ romance.
- Never Have I Ever: The actors are older but the show explicitly addresses the gap between TV teens and real teens with humor
- The Summer I Turned Pretty: Another book adaptation with young-looking actors and a similar romantic vibe
Or if you want more holiday content that's wholesome:
- The Great British Baking Show: Holidays: No romance, just cozy baking
- The Holiday Movies That Made Us: Behind-the-scenes of classic holiday films
Dash & Lily is a charming, age-appropriate holiday show with genuinely sweet messages about connection, vulnerability, and finding your people. The fact that the actors are in their twenties playing 17-year-olds is standard Hollywood practice, but it's worth naming with your kids so they understand the difference between TV magic and real life.
Watch it with your teen. Talk about what feels realistic and what doesn't. Laugh at the over-the-top moments. Enjoy the bookstore scenes. And maybe plan your own scavenger hunt (with appropriate supervision, because you're not a Netflix producer with a liability waiver).
If you want to dig deeper into how casting affects teen self-image, ask our chatbot about media literacy and body image
. And if your kid loved the show, point them toward the original book—it's just as delightful and might spark a love of YA lit.
- Watch the first episode together to gauge if it's right for your kid's maturity level
- Talk about the actor ages and what that means for how we perceive "normal" teen life
- Check out the book if your kid loves the story—reading the source material is always a win
- Explore more cozy holiday shows if this one hits the spot
And if you're trying to figure out what other Netflix shows are actually appropriate for teens (because the platform's age ratings are... generous), check out our guide to Netflix shows for teens that aren't brain rot.