Look, Jungle Cruise is exactly what you think it is: a Disney adventure movie that's been focus-grouped to death but still manages to be entertaining enough. The Rock does his charming thing, Emily Blunt elevates every scene she's in, and the whole thing moves along pleasantly without ever surprising you.

The massive gap between critic scores (62%) and audience scores (92%) tells you everything—this is engineered crowd-pleasing that works on a 'fun Saturday night' level but won't stick with you. It's not trying to be The African Queen; it's trying to be a theme park ride you can watch at home, and on that level, it succeeds.

The supernatural elements keep things interesting, and there's enough humor to balance the action. But let's be real: this is disposable entertainment. Your kids will enjoy it, forget about it in a week, and that's fine. It's not going to rot their brains, but it's not going to expand them either.

If you need two hours of family-friendly adventure that won't make you want to claw your eyes out as a parent, this does the job. Just don't expect anything beyond competent popcorn fare.