Is this book too depressing for a parent who is already struggling?

It can be heavy, but most readers find it ultimately hopeful. It doesn't ignore the pain, but it focuses on the 'triumph of love' and the meaning found in the struggle. If you're in a dark place, maybe start with the 'Autism' or 'Prodigies' chapters rather than 'Crime'.

Do I need to read the whole thing in order?

Not at all. The chapters are self-contained. You can read the intro, jump to the chapter that interests you most, and still get 90% of the value. It's designed to be a reference as much as a narrative.

How does the documentary compare to the book?

The documentary is a great 'lite' version, but it only covers a handful of the families. It’s more emotional and visual, but it lacks the deep philosophical scaffolding and historical context that makes the book so powerful.

Is it outdated since it was published in 2012?

The specific science of things like prenatal screening or certain therapies has evolved, but the human stories and the 'horizontal identity' framework are timeless. It still feels incredibly relevant in 2026.

Far from the Tree – WISE Score & Parent Review | Screenwise

Far from the Tree

Name: Screenwise
Author: Screenwise

book2012

93%

WISE Score

A monumental, deeply moving exploration of how parents learn to love children who are fundamentally different from them.

Far from the Tree

book

2012

93%

WISE Score

A monumental, deeply moving exploration of how parents learn to love children who are fundamentally different from them.

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Screenwise Verdict

If you are a parent, or plan to be one, you should read this book. It is the definitive work on the 'otherness' of children and how families bridge that gap. It’s not an easy read—it’s long, dense, and frequently heartbreaking—but it is profoundly rewarding.

Solomon doesn't just report on these families; he embeds with them. He manages to be both a rigorous journalist and a deeply compassionate narrator. It’s the kind of book that changes how you look at people in the grocery store, and more importantly, how you look at your own kids when they don't turn out exactly how you imagined.

Age Fit

This is strictly for adults and mature older teens (17+). The vocabulary is academic and the subject matter—including segments on crime and sexual violence—requires a high level of emotional maturity.

WISE Breakdown

Wholesome

At its core, this is a 900-page love letter to unconditional acceptance and the resilience of the parent-child bond under extreme circumstances.

Imaginative

While non-fiction, Solomon’s ability to shift the reader's perspective on what is 'normal' requires a massive leap of moral imagination.

Safe

It's a book for adults. It covers heavy, real-world trauma including crime, sexual assault (regarding conception), and severe mental illness. It is safe for the intended audience but requires high maturity.

Enriching

100

This is arguably the most important book written in the last 20 years for understanding human difference and the social construction of disability.

Parent Info

✓

Why It Might Be Great

Empathy masterclass that forces you to see the world through the eyes of families dealing with everything from autism to dwarfism.
Redefines 'identity' by distinguishing between 'vertical' traits we get from parents and 'horizontal' traits that make us different.
Meticulously researched with over 300 interviews, making it feel like a collective human history rather than just one man's opinion.
Validates the struggle of parenting without sugar-coating how hard it can be when a child doesn't fit the expected mold.

⚠

What to Watch For

The chapter on children born of rape is incredibly heavy and may be triggering for some readers.
The section on children who become criminals offers no easy answers and can be deeply unsettling for parents.
It is enormous. This isn't a weekend read; it's a commitment that can take months to fully digest.

Conversation Starters

"What's the difference between a 'disability' and a 'culture'?"
"If you could 'cure' a fundamental part of who you are, would you?"
"How much of our identity comes from our parents versus our peers?"
"Does unconditional love mean you have to like every choice your child makes?"

Deep Dive

The 'Horizontal Identity' Breakthrough

Andrew Solomon’s core thesis in Far from the Tree is a game-changer for any parent. He identifies two types of identities: vertical identities, which are passed down from parent to child (like race, language, or often religion), and horizontal identities, where a child has a trait alien to their parents but shared with a peer group (like being gay, having autism, or being a musical prodigy).

Most parenting advice assumes you are passing down a vertical identity. Solomon looks at what happens when that's not the case. The book is organized by these horizontal identities: Deafness, Dwarfism, Down Syndrome, Autism, Schizophrenia, Prodigies, etc.

Not Your Average Parenting Book

Don't expect '5 steps to a better relationship.' This is a sociological and psychological deep dive. It’s 900 pages of text, and while Solomon is a beautiful writer, he doesn't shy away from the clinical or the uncomfortable. He spends significant time on the history of the Deaf culture movement and the controversy surrounding cochlear implants, for example.

He also tackles the 'dark' side of difference. The chapters on 'Crime' and 'Rape' are brutal. They look at parents whose children have done the unthinkable, or children who were the result of an unthinkable act. These sections are what elevate the book from a feel-good collection of stories into a serious piece of moral philosophy.

The Commitment

If the page count scares you, I'd suggest starting with the first and last chapters ('Son' and 'Father'). They frame the entire work through Solomon’s own experience as a gay man and a father. From there, you can dip into the specific chapters that resonate with your family's experience. You don't have to read it cover-to-cover to get the value, but if you do, you'll come out the other side with a much larger heart.

The teen-sized edition: Far from the Tree: Young Adult Edition is the official young readers adaptation of this book (ages 13–99) — same core ideas, shorter and gentler in the telling. The right handoff for a curious kid who isn't ready for the original.

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