Look, this is a mess. Eli Roth took a beloved video game franchise and delivered a movie that pleased almost no one—10% on Rotten Tomatoes, 1.5 out of 5 on Letterboxd, and a Metacritic score of 26. Even audiences who went in with low expectations came out disappointed.

The issues are obvious: it's loud, chaotic, and forgettable. The script leans on constant profanity and gun violence without the wit or style to make it fun. Cate Blanchett and Jamie Lee Curtis are clearly cashing paychecks, and the whole thing feels like it was focus-grouped to death and still came out wrong.

For families, it's a tough sell. The PG-13 rating undersells the crude language and relentless action—Common Sense Media's 14+ recommendation is more accurate. But even at 14, your kid deserves better entertainment. If they're obsessed with the Borderlands games, they might get a kick out of seeing Pandora on screen, but they'll probably leave wishing they'd just replayed the game instead.

Bottom line: skip it unless you're a completist or have a teen who absolutely insists. Even then, set expectations low.