TL;DR: "Dark Romance" and "Enemies to Lovers" are the reigning kings of BookTok and Netflix right now. While these tropes can be harmless escapism, the line between "passionate" and "abusive" is getting incredibly blurry in media aimed at teens. We're seeing a surge in content where stalking is framed as devotion and toxic power imbalances are marketed as "goals." The goal isn't to ban the books, but to make sure your teen can tell the difference between a fictional "alpha hole" and a real-life red flag.
Quick Links to Trending Media
- It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover - The "gateway" to dark romance.
- A Court of Thorns and Roses - High-fantasy "spice" that’s everywhere.
- Euphoria (HBO) - The gold standard for gritty, toxic teen dynamics.
- You (Netflix) - A literal serial killer framed as a romantic lead.
- The Summer I Turned Pretty - Softer, but still heavy on the "love triangle" drama.
If you’ve spent any time near a Barnes & Noble lately, you’ve seen the "BookTok" table. It’s dominated by covers featuring moody flowers, jagged crowns, or shirtless men in shadows. This is the world of Dark Romance.
Unlike traditional romance, which usually follows a "boy meets girl, they overcome a misunderstanding, happily ever after" arc, dark romance intentionally plays with "taboo" themes. We're talking about kidnapping (the "kidnapping to lovers" trope is real and weirdly popular), stalking, "dubious consent" (often abbreviated as dub-con), and extreme power imbalances.
In the streaming world, this manifests as shows like You or the After movie series. The "hero" is often a "broken" man who expresses his love through control, jealousy, and sometimes violence. The narrative suggests that if the girl is just "special" or "patient" enough, she can fix him.
It’s easy to look at this and panic, but we have to understand the "why." For a 15 or 16-year-old, the intensity of these stories mirrors the intensity of their own developing emotions.
- Emotional Safeties: Reading about a dangerous vampire or a possessive billionaire is a way to "practice" feeling intense fear or desire from the safety of a bedroom.
- The "Specialness" Factor: The idea that a "dangerous" person would be "soft" only for you is a powerful ego stroke for a teenager trying to find their identity.
- Community: BookTok is a massive social club. If everyone in the 10th grade is talking about Fourth Wing, your teen is going to want to read it just to stay in the loop.
Learn more about why BookTok is influencing teen reading habits
When media blurs the line between romance and violence, it usually relies on a few specific tropes that can skew a teen’s "red flag" radar.
This is the male lead who is rude, aggressive, and controlling, but it’s excused because he’s "protective" or has "trauma." In books like A Court of Thorns and Roses, this is dialed up to eleven. The danger is when teens start to interpret a partner’s jealousy or desire to track their location in real life as "protection" rather than a control tactic.
"Enemies to Lovers" vs. "Abuser to Lovers"
"Enemies to lovers" is a classic (think Pride and Prejudice). But modern dark romance often skips the "witty banter" and goes straight to "he ruined her life and now they’re dating." If the "enemy" phase involves actual physical or emotional abuse, the "lovers" phase isn't a romance—it’s a cycle of violence.
The "I Can Fix Him" Narrative
This is the oldest trap in the book. From Twilight to Euphoria, the message is often: If you love him hard enough, he will stop being toxic. In reality, that’s a recipe for staying in an abusive relationship way too long.
Not everything with a "dark" tag is bad. Some media handles these themes with nuance, while others are essentially "brain rot" for emotional intelligence.
The "Good" (Nuanced Representation)
- It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover: Despite the controversy, this book (and the movie) actually identifies the cycle of abuse. It doesn't pretend the "bad guy" is secretly a prince; it shows why leaving is hard. Ages 15+
- The Hunger Games: While violent, the "romance" between Katniss and Peeta is actually built on mutual support and shared trauma, not control. Ages 12+
- Heartstopper: If you want an antidote to toxicity, this is it. It’s the gold standard for healthy, communicative, and respectful teen romance. Ages 12+
The "Watch Out" (High Toxicity)
- The After Series: This started as Harry Styles fanfiction and is essentially a manual on how to be in a toxic relationship. The leads spend the entire time screaming, breaking things, and then making out. It’s exhausting and teaches zero conflict resolution. Ages 16+
- Haunting Adeline: You might see this on TikTok. It is NOT for teens. It features extreme non-consensual themes and graphic violence. If you see this on your 14-year-old’s Kindle, it’s time for a very serious talk. Adults only.
- Gossip Girl (Original or Reboot): Fun? Yes. Toxic? Absolutely. It treats "ruining someone’s life" as a flirtation tactic. Ages 15+
Check out our guide on healthy vs. toxic romance in TV shows
- Middle School (Ages 11-13): Stick to "Clean Romance" or "Sweet YA." At this age, the brain is still figuring out basic social cues. Introducing "dark romance" now is like trying to teach someone to drive in a Formula 1 car—it’s too much power too soon.
- Early High School (Ages 14-15): This is when they’ll start seeing the "spicy" BookTok recommendations. This is the time to talk about consent and boundaries. If they’re reading Fourth Wing, ask them: "Do you think X's behavior would be okay if he wasn't a dragon rider?"
- Late High School (Ages 16-18): They are likely consuming the same media you are. Focus on media literacy. Can they identify when a show is depicting toxicity vs. glorifying it?
Don't go in with a lecture. Go in with curiosity. If you see them watching The Summer I Turned Pretty, you might say:
"Okay, I get why she likes Conrad, but he is kind of a jerk to her, right? Does that actually work in real life, or is that just 'TV logic'?"
Key questions to ask:
- "What would happen if she said 'no' to him? How would he react?"
- "Does he have any friends or hobbies outside of being obsessed with her?" (A major red flag is the 'no-life-outside-the-relationship' trope).
- "Why do you think the author made the 'hero' so aggressive? What does that add to the story?"
Ask our chatbot for specific conversation starters about the book your teen is reading
We can't scrub the internet of toxic tropes. Dark romance is a billion-dollar industry because humans are naturally drawn to high-stakes, "dangerous" stories.
The goal isn't to make your teen stop liking the "bad boy" in fiction—it's to make sure they don't go looking for him in the school hallway. By keeping the lines of communication open and occasionally "hate-watching" a toxic Netflix show with them, you’re building the media literacy they need to navigate a world that often confuses love with control.
- Check the Kindle/Audible Library: See what’s currently in their "Recently Read." Look for keywords like "dark romance," "mafia," or "enemies to lovers."
- Follow a few BookTokers: Search for #BookTok on TikTok just to see what’s trending this week. Knowledge is power.
- Set "Media Literacy" Nights: Pick a "toxic" movie, watch it together, and ruthlessly roast the characters' bad decisions. It’s fun, and it works.