TL;DR
If your kid plays Minecraft, Roblox, or Fortnite, they’ve probably asked for Discord. Think of it as a digital basement where kids hang out to talk while gaming. It can be a great community space, but without the right settings, it’s a door left wide open to the entire internet. Use the Discord Family Center to see who they’re talking to without reading their private texts, and lock down those DMs immediately.
If you’re of a certain age, Discord is basically what would happen if the old-school AOL chat rooms, Skype, and Slack had a baby that was obsessed with video games.
It’s organized into "Servers"—which are essentially private or public clubs. Inside those servers are "Channels"—some for texting, some for voice chatting. Your child might be in a server with just four friends from school, or they might be in a MrBeast server with hundreds of thousands of strangers.
Unlike Instagram or TikTok, there is no central "feed." It’s all about the conversation. This makes it feel more intimate and "safe" to kids, but it also makes it much harder for parents to monitor because everything happens in real-time and often behind closed digital doors.
The magic of Discord is the "Go Live" feature. A kid can stream their gameplay of Among Us or Stardew Valley to just their friends. It’s like having a virtual couch where everyone sits and watches one person play while they all joke around.
It’s also the place where "internet culture" is born. If your kid is suddenly saying things are "Ohio" or "Skibidi," they likely picked it up from a meme shared in a Discord channel. For a middle schooler, being off Discord can feel like being uninvited from the only party that matters.
Learn more about why Discord is the top choice for teen gamers
For a long time, Discord was a "black box" for parents. You either had to demand their password (which kills trust) or just hope for the best (which is risky).
The Family Center is the middle ground we’ve been waiting for. Once you link your account to your teen’s, you get a weekly email summary and a dashboard that shows:
- Who they’ve messaged or called recently.
- Which new friends they’ve added.
- Which servers they’ve joined.
Crucially: You cannot see the actual content of their messages. This is a win for privacy-conscious teens and a win for parents who just want to know their kid isn't talking to a 40-year-old "friend" they met in a public Valorant server.
Check out our step-by-step guide to setting up the Family Center
If you’re going to let your child on Discord, do not let them "raw dog" the default settings. The defaults are way too open. Open the app, go to User Settings > Privacy & Safety, and handle these three things:
1. Safe Direct Messaging
Set this to "Keep Me Safe." This uses Discord’s AI to scan and zap any explicit images before your kid even sees them. It’s not perfect, but it’s a necessary first line of defense against the "brain rot" and NSFW content that can plague public servers.
2. DM Privacy
There is a toggle that says "Allow direct messages from server members." Turn this OFF. If this is on, anyone in a massive public server (like a Minecraft community) can slide into your child’s DMs without being their "friend" first. This is the primary way predators and scammers find targets. If they want to talk to a friend, they can add them as a friend first.
3. Friend Request Controls
Limit who can send your child a friend request. I recommend setting this to "Friends of Friends" or "Server Members" only—never "Everyone."
Discord Nitro is the platform’s premium subscription. It lets kids use fancy emojis, bigger file uploads, and "boost" their favorite servers.
Here’s the "No-BS" take: Nitro is largely a status symbol. It’s the digital equivalent of having the coolest sneakers in the hallway. While it’s not inherently dangerous, it’s the bait for 90% of Discord scams.
Kids will often see messages like: "Click here for one month of free Nitro!" These are almost always phishing links designed to steal their account or your credit card info. Teach your kids that nothing on Discord is ever actually free.
- Ages 10-12: Technically, Discord requires users to be 13. In reality, about 25-30% of upper elementary kids are on it. If you allow it at this age, it should be a "shared" experience. The app stays on a family tablet or computer, not a private phone in the bedroom. Stick to private servers with real-life friends only.
- Ages 13-15: This is the prime age for the Family Center. It’s time for a bit more autonomy, but with the "safety net" of you seeing who their new friends are.
- Ages 16+: At this point, focus on "Digital Citizenship." Talk about the permanence of what they post and how to spot "doxxing" (when people leak private info online).
Instead of asking "Is Discord safe?" (which will get you a "Yes, Mom, gosh" and an eye roll), try asking these:
- "Which server do you spend the most time in?"
- "Who is the 'Mod' (moderator) in your favorite server? Do they actually kick out people who are being jerks?"
- "Have you ever seen anyone post something that felt 'off' or weird?"
If your kid mentions a "Mod," pay attention. Moderators are the "digital bouncers" of Discord. A server with active, adult-like mods is a playground; a server with no mods is the Wild West.
Discord isn't "bad," but it is unfiltered. Unlike YouTube Kids or PBS Kids, there is no corporate entity making sure the content is wholesome. The safety of the platform depends entirely on the specific servers your child joins and the privacy walls you help them build.
If your child is responsible, understands the "Stranger Danger 2.0" rules of the internet, and stays in servers with people they actually know, Discord can be a fantastic way for them to build community and leadership skills (many kids actually learn to code by building Discord Bots).
- Download the app and create your own account so you can use the Family Center.
- Sit down with your kid and go through the "Privacy & Safety" settings together.
- Link your accounts via the Family Center.
- Set a "Public Server" rule. Maybe they can join the official Minecraft server, but any others need a quick "vibe check" from you first.
Not sure about a specific server? Ask our chatbot to help you vet it