Look, this is Roger Moore's Bond at its most Roger Moore-y: campy, quippy, and packed with gadgets that defined a generation of toy commercials. The submarine car is genuinely cool, and if you're doing a Bond retrospective or your teen is into film history, there's value here.

But let's be real: by 2025 standards, this movie is a slog. It's nearly two-and-a-half hours of 1970s pacing, which means long stretches of exposition, gratuitous shots of scenery, and action sequences that unfold like molasses. The sexual politics are cringe-inducing—women exist to be seduced or rescued, and Bond's body count (both kinds) is played for laughs.

The violence is constant but bloodless in that old-school way, and the brief nudity will catch you off-guard if you're expecting actual PG content. Common Sense Media says 14+, and that's generous—most teens will bail before the second act.

If your family loves classic action cinema or you want to show your kid where Austin Powers got all its material, fine. Otherwise, there are better ways to spend 125 minutes.