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Screenwise Verdict
This is the picture book you reach for when a grandparent dies and you need to explain it to a four-year-old without falling apart yourself.
DePaola based it on his own childhood, and that authenticity shows. Tommy's relationship with his two grandmothers is specific and lived-in: eating candy, being tied gently to chairs so Nana Upstairs doesn't fall, counting to 100 together. When Nana Upstairs dies, Tommy's sadness is real but not overwhelming. His mother doesn't sugarcoat it, and the falling star moment—where Tommy decides it's a kiss from Nana—is just right: comforting without being saccharine.
It's not a fun read. It's a necessary one. The kind of book that sits on the shelf until you need it, then becomes invaluable. Some kids will ask for it again and again as they process; others will listen once and move on. Either way, it does its job with grace.
Age Fit
Best for ages 4–8, especially when a child is experiencing or preparing for the loss of a grandparent or older relative. Younger kids can handle it with support; older elementary readers may find it too simple unless they're actively grieving.
WISE Breakdown
Wholesome
95
Deeply tender portrayal of intergenerational love and the grief of losing a great-grandmother. Models gentle family relationships, respect for elderly relatives, and healthy processing of death. Tommy's weekly visits with both grandmothers show routine affection without sentimentality. The story handles loss with honesty appropriate for young children—no euphemisms, just quiet sadness and the comfort of memory.
Imaginative
68
This is a quiet, realistic memoir rather than a fantastical story. The imagination comes through in how Tommy processes grief—seeing a falling star as a kiss from Nana Upstairs is poetic but grounded. DePaola's updated full-color illustrations add warmth, but the narrative itself doesn't invite much creative play or exploration. It's contemplative rather than inventive.
Safe
92
Handles death in the gentlest possible way for picture book audiences. No graphic content, no frightening imagery. The loss is sad but not traumatic—Tommy cries, his mother comforts him, and life continues with memories intact. The only reason this isn't 100 is that death itself can be an emotionally heavy topic for very young or sensitive children, though it's presented as naturally as possible.
Enriching
88
One of the most respected children's books about death and grief. Teaches that sadness is normal, that memories keep loved ones close, and that talking about loss helps. The intergenerational relationships model care for aging family members. School Library Journal's starred review notes children will want to hear it 'again and again,' suggesting it provides comfort through repeated reading. Offers emotional vocabulary and coping strategies without being didactic.
Parent Info
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Why It Might Be Great
One of the most trusted picture books for introducing death to preschoolers—honest without being scary
Shows intergenerational love in action: weekly visits, shared candy, being tied to chairs together (yes, really—Nana Upstairs is 94 and needs support)
Tommy's grief is real but manageable: he cries, asks questions, and finds comfort in a falling star he decides is a kiss from Nana
DePaola's 2000 update adds full-color illustrations that warm up the original 1973 version
4.8 stars on Amazon; multiple parent reviews call it 'lump-in-the-throat inducing' and a conversation starter
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What to Watch For
This is a sad book—expect questions, tears, and possibly requests to talk about family members who've died
Not a distraction read; it's a tool for processing grief, so timing matters
Some kids under 4 may not be developmentally ready to grasp death as permanent, though the book handles it gently
Conversation Starters
"Why do you think Tommy liked visiting both his Nanas every week?"
"When Nana Upstairs died, Tommy saw a falling star and thought it was a kiss from her. What do you think helps people remember someone they love?"
"Have you ever felt really sad about saying goodbye to someone? What made you feel better?"
