It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear – WISE Score & Parent Review | Screenwise

It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear

Name: Screenwise
Author: Screenwise

book1997

68%

WISE Score

4.5

Amazon

A gentle, no-frills divorce explainer for little kids who need to hear it's not their fault—functional therapy, not bedtime fun.

It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear

book

1997

68%

WISE Score

4.5

Amazon

A gentle, no-frills divorce explainer for little kids who need to hear it's not their fault—functional therapy, not bedtime fun.

4.5

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Screenwise Verdict

This is not a book you read for fun. It's a therapeutic tool, and a decent one—clear, gentle, and focused on the single most important message a young child needs during divorce: it's not your fault.

The problem is it's nearly 30 years old, and it shows. The illustrations are dated, the family structure is very traditional, and the tone feels a bit after-school-special. Modern kids (and parents) might want something that reflects more diverse realities—blended families, same-sex parents, or messier custody arrangements.

But if you're in the thick of it and need something tonight to help your 4-year-old understand why Mommy and Daddy don't live together anymore, this will do the job. Just don't expect them to ask for it again once the crisis has passed.

Age Fit

Best for ages 3–7 who are actively experiencing parental separation and need a simple, reassuring framework. Older kids (8+) will likely find it babyish and may need more nuanced resources. Not a book for kids whose parents aren't divorcing—no reason to introduce the concept preemptively.

WISE Breakdown

Wholesome

Directly addresses one of childhood's most emotionally fraught experiences with a reassuring, age-appropriate tone. The central message—that divorce is not the child's fault—is critical for emotional health. Models cooperative co-parenting and validates difficult feelings without being preachy.

Imaginative

This is therapeutic literature, not imaginative storytelling. The bear character is a gentle vehicle for explaining divorce logistics, but there's minimal world-building, creative play, or curiosity-sparking. It's a tool, not an adventure. The 1997 illustrations are serviceable but dated.

Safe

Explicitly designed for a vulnerable audience going through family upheaval. No surprise content, no scary imagery, no blame or toxicity. The focus on 'two homes' and continued parental involvement assumes a best-case divorce scenario, which could feel alienating if a child's reality is messier, but that's not a safety issue per se.

Enriching

Provides genuine emotional scaffolding for kids navigating divorce—vocabulary, reassurance, and a framework for understanding their new reality. The parenting guide component adds value for adults. Not entertainment, but meaningful for its narrow, important purpose. Amazon's 4.5-star rating suggests it delivers what families need.

Parent Info

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Why It Might Be Great

Delivers the most important message a divorcing kid needs to hear: this is not your fault, and both parents still love you
Gives concrete language for abstract concepts—'two homes,' 'custody,' 'still a family'—that preschoolers can grasp
The parenting guide section helps adults navigate tough conversations they're probably dreading
Short enough (32 pages) to get through even when emotions are running high

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What to Watch For

This assumes cooperative co-parenting; if one parent is absent or the split is hostile, the 'two homes' framing may not match your reality
The 1997 vibe is real—illustrations and family dynamics feel a bit Leave It to Beaver for 2025
Not a story kids will want to revisit; it's medicine, not a treat
Some kids may resist reading it because they don't want to talk about divorce yet—don't force it

Conversation Starters

"Koko felt sad and confused. What feelings have you been having about our family changing?"
"Koko worried it was his fault. Do you ever feel that way? Because I need you to know: this is a grown-up decision, not anything you did."
"Koko's parents both still loved him. What are some ways you know I/we still love you, even though things are different now?"
"What questions do you have about what happens next? There are no wrong questions."

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