Minecraft Safety Settings: The Parent's Guide to Multiplayer, Realms, and Keeping Your Kids Safe
Okay, so your kid is obsessed with Minecraft. Join the club—there are like 170 million monthly players, and a huge chunk of them are under 13. But here's the thing that keeps parents up at night: Minecraft isn't just a solo building game anymore. It's a massive social platform where kids can play with friends, join servers with strangers, and chat with basically anyone.
The safety settings in Minecraft are basically the control panel for who your child can interact with and how they can communicate. Think of it like the parental controls on a streaming service, but instead of preventing R-rated movies, you're managing whether your 9-year-old can chat with random people on a public server at 3am.
The confusing part? The settings are scattered across multiple places: the game itself, Xbox/Microsoft account settings (yes, even if you're playing on Switch or PlayStation), and Minecraft Realms if you're using those. It's honestly a bit of a maze, and Microsoft hasn't exactly made it intuitive.
Here's what I wish someone had told me earlier: Minecraft's multiplayer features are where most of the risk lives. The creative mode where your kid builds a castle alone? Pretty benign. But the second they hop onto a public server or start chatting in a Realm, you're in different territory.
The main concerns:
- Unmoderated chat - Kids can receive messages from anyone, including inappropriate content or predatory behavior
- Public servers - Some servers have thousands of players and zero moderation
- Voice chat - Newer features allow actual voice communication
- Sharing personal information - Kids don't always understand why sharing their school name or location is risky
- Griefing and cyberbullying - Other players destroying builds or harassing your child
I'm not trying to be alarmist here. Most Minecraft experiences are totally fine! But I've heard enough stories from friends about their kids encountering weird messages or inappropriate usernames to know this isn't theoretical.
Before we dive into settings, you need to know which version your kid is playing:
Minecraft: Bedrock Edition - This is the version on Xbox, PlayStation, Switch, mobile, and Windows 10/11. It has cross-platform play and uses Microsoft accounts. This is probably what your kid is playing if they're on console.
Minecraft: Java Edition - The original PC version. More mod-friendly, different servers, separate account system (though now also requires Microsoft login).
Minecraft Education Edition - The school version with extra safety features. If only we could all use this one at home, right?
The settings work differently across these versions, which is honestly super annoying. I'm going to focus mainly on Bedrock since that's what most families deal with.
Start With the Microsoft Account (This Controls Everything)
If your child is under 13, you should set them up with a child account linked to your Microsoft family group. This is non-negotiable in my book.
- Go to account.microsoft.com/family
- Add your child's account to your family
- Navigate to their account settings
From here, you can control:
- Multiplayer permissions - You can completely disable multiplayer, allow it only with friends, or allow public servers
- Communication settings - Block all chat, allow chat only with friends, or allow open communication
- Content filters - Block mature content and user-generated content
My recommendation for most families: Set multiplayer to "friends only" and communication to "friends only" until you're confident they understand online safety. You can always loosen it later.
In-Game Settings (Minecraft Bedrock)
Open Minecraft, go to Settings, then:
Settings > Profile > Privacy & Online Safety
- Disable "Allow users to add me as a friend" (if you want to control who they connect with)
- Turn off "Show my gamertag in search"
Settings > Multiplayer Game Settings
- You can disable multiplayer entirely here as a backup
- Turn off "Visible to LAN Players" if you don't want local network connections
Minecraft Realms Considerations
Realms are private servers you pay for (about $8/month). They're much safer than public servers because you control exactly who's invited—usually just your kid's actual friends.
If you're going to allow multiplayer, Realms are honestly the way to go for elementary and middle school kids. You're the admin, you can see who's playing, and you can kick anyone out.
Ages 6-8: Single-player only, or local multiplayer where you're in the room. They're too young to navigate online social dynamics safely.
Ages 9-11: Consider Realms with real-life friends only. Keep devices in common areas. Spot-check who they're playing with. Most kids this age are on Minecraft, but that doesn't mean they need full access to all features.
Ages 12-14: This is when "friends only" multiplayer makes sense, possibly expanding to some well-moderated servers. Have conversations about what to do if someone makes them uncomfortable. Consider allowing Discord for voice chat with their actual friend group rather than in-game chat with strangers.
Ages 15+: More independence makes sense, but check in regularly. Teens can still encounter harassment or inappropriate content.
- Your child is secretive about who they're playing with
- They're playing at odd hours (2am Minecraft sessions with "friends from school" might not be friends from school)
- Emotional changes after playing—anxiety, anger, or withdrawal
- Mentions of "friends" you've never heard of before
- Requests for money or gift cards from online contacts
Don't just flip on settings and call it done. Actually talk to your kids about:
"Not everyone online is who they say they are." Yes, it sounds obvious, but kids genuinely don't always get this. That "12-year-old from Canada" might not be 12 or from Canada.
"Never share personal information." Not your school, not your town, not your full name, definitely not your address. If someone asks where you live, the answer is always "I don't share that online."
"If something feels weird, tell me." Emphasize that they won't get in trouble for reporting something uncomfortable. You might be surprised what kids encounter
even in seemingly innocent games.
Minecraft is genuinely a creative, educational, and social experience that millions of kids love. It can teach problem-solving, collaboration, and even basic coding concepts. But like any online space, it needs guardrails.
The safest setup for most elementary-aged kids: Single-player or Realms with real-life friends only, with communication limited to those friends. Devices in common areas. Regular check-ins about who they're playing with.
For middle schoolers: Expand gradually based on maturity. "Friends only" multiplayer, possibly some curated servers with good reputations.
For all ages: Keep communication open, spot-check occasionally, and trust your instincts.
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Check your child's current settings right now. Seriously, put down this article and go look. You might be surprised what's enabled by default.
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Set up or verify the Microsoft family account. This is your foundation for everything else.
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Have the safety conversation. Don't make it scary, just matter-of-fact. "Here's how we stay safe online."
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Consider a Realm if your child wants multiplayer. It's the best middle ground between complete isolation and the wild west of public servers.
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Check in regularly. Settings are great, but ongoing conversation is better.
If you want to dig deeper into Minecraft specifically, check out our full Minecraft guide. And if you're trying to figure out whether your family's approach to gaming is typical or if you're being too strict/lenient, Screenwise can help you understand how your rules compare to other families in your community.
You've got this. Minecraft isn't going anywhere, and taking 20 minutes to lock down these settings is absolutely worth it.