We Are Okay

We Are Okay

book

2019, Teen & Young Adult, Literature & Fiction

WISE
76%

WISE Score

4.5

Amazon

A quiet, gorgeous gut-punch about grief, first love, and the courage it takes to stop running—beautifully written but emotionally heavy.

Amazon4.5
Common Sense Media

Where to Read

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Screenwise Verdict

This is the kind of YA novel English teachers love and some teens will find life-changing while others will find slow and depressing—and both reactions are valid.

LaCour won the Printz Award for this, and the writing genuinely earns it. It's spare, poetic, and creates an aching intimacy that makes you feel every bit of Marin's isolation and grief. The LGBTQ+ representation is beautifully done—Marin and Mabel's relationship unfolds naturally, and the book never makes their queerness the problem (the problem is grief, secrets, and the human tendency to run from pain).

But let's be real: this is a quiet, sad book about a girl whose grandfather died (possibly by suicide) and who abandoned her entire life as a result. It's 256 pages of emotional excavation set in an empty dorm over winter break. If your teen gravitates toward literary fiction and can handle heavy themes, this is excellent. If they need plot momentum or lighter fare, this will feel like homework.

The mature content—drinking, sex, profanity—is present but not gratuitous. It's appropriate for the 14+ audience, though the Junior Library Guild recommends grades 11+, likely due to the emotional sophistication required. This isn't a book that will traumatize anyone, but it's definitely one that requires the right reader at the right time.

Age Fit

Best for emotionally mature teens 14+ who can handle heavy themes like grief, death, and complex family dynamics. The writing is accessible (Lexile 660L) but the emotional content requires maturity. Too intense for middle schoolers; perfect for high schoolers ready for literary YA.

WISE Breakdown
Wholesome
78

A tender, emotionally honest portrayal of grief, friendship, and coming out that handles difficult topics with care and empathy. The relationship between Marin and Mabel is depicted with genuine warmth. Contains some profanity, underage drinking, and a non-explicit sex scene between two female characters, but these elements serve the story rather than sensationalize. The pacing is slow and contemplative—appropriate for the subject matter—though some readers may find it melancholic.

Imaginative
72

LaCour's prose is described as 'poetic' and 'gorgeously written' with a distinctive literary style that creates an intimate, whisper-like narrative voice. The structure—unfolding over a single winter break visit—is creative and builds emotional tension effectively. However, this is a quiet, realistic contemporary novel focused on internal emotional landscapes rather than world-building or fantastical elements. It invites readers to imagine complex emotional states and relationships rather than external adventures.

Safe
65

Contains mature themes including parental death, grief, abandonment, and implied suicide. There's underage drinking, profanity, and a sex scene between two teenage girls (described as not overly explicit). The emotional weight is heavy—this deals with profound loss and isolation. For the target audience (grades 9-12, ages 14-17), these elements are age-appropriate but could be triggering for readers dealing with similar trauma. The LGBTQ+ representation is positive and normalized.

Enriching
85

Winner of the Michael L. Printz Award and widely acclaimed for its honest portrayal of grief and healing. Offers deep insight into how young people process loss, isolation, and the courage required to face painful truths. The depiction of a same-sex relationship is normalized and tender, providing valuable representation. Develops empathy and emotional intelligence through its nuanced character work. The writing quality itself is instructive for aspiring writers. Tackles complex themes—family secrets, chosen family, the difference between running away and moving forward—with sophistication.

Parent Info

Why It Might Be Great

  • Award-winning prose that's actually deserving—short, poetic, and genuinely moving without being manipulative
  • Normalizes LGBTQ+ relationships with a tender same-sex romance that's central but not the 'issue'
  • Honest portrayal of grief that doesn't tie everything up neatly—shows that healing is messy and nonlinear
  • Strong representation of female friendship and the kind of love that survives distance and silence
  • Quick read (256 pages) that packs serious emotional punch—perfect for teens ready for literary fiction

What to Watch For

  • Heavy themes: parental death, possible suicide, abandonment—not for kids going through fresh trauma
  • Slow, introspective pacing—this is literary fiction, not a page-turner, so reluctant readers may struggle
  • Contains underage drinking, profanity, and a non-explicit sex scene between two girls
  • The emotional weight is real—some readers describe crying through it, so prep accordingly

Conversation Starters

  • "Marin ran away from everything after her grandfather died. Do you think that was brave or avoidant? When is it okay to run from hard things?"
  • "The book shows how grief can make you push away the people who love you most. Why do you think Marin shut out Mabel?"
  • "Marin and Mabel's relationship shifts from friendship to romance. How do you think that changes the dynamic between them?"
  • "What do you think the title 'We Are Okay' means? Are they actually okay by the end?"

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