Look, this is perfectly fine. It's sweet, it's safe, it's got Roald Dahl's name on it. But let's be real: this is one of those movies that sounds better in theory than in practice.

The premise is charming—a shy elderly man buys dozens of tortoises to secretly swap them out and make his neighbor think hers is growing. Classic Dahl whimsy. The problem? It's executed with such gentle, slow British reserve that most kids will be checking their tablets within 20 minutes. The 6.9 IMDb rating tells the story: it's... fine. Not bad, not great, just fine.

The wholesomeness is genuine, and if you've got a sensitive kid who needs zero scares or a family that values slow, character-driven stories, this could work. But for most families, this is the movie you put on when you've exhausted everything else and need something unquestionably safe. It's the cinematic equivalent of plain oatmeal—nutritious, harmless, but nobody's getting excited about it.

If you want Roald Dahl, watch Matilda or Fantastic Mr. Fox. If you want elderly romance, watch Up. This occupies a very specific niche: families who've seen everything else and need something gentle for a rainy Sunday afternoon.