TL;DR: Discord is the "digital mall" of 2025—a place where kids hang out, talk about Roblox, and find their tribe. It’s a "Digital Third Place" that offers incredible community but carries real risks regarding privacy, scams, and unmoderated content. If your kid is under 13, it’s a hard "no" without heavy-duty oversight; for teens, it’s a "yes, but let’s look at your settings together."
Ask our chatbot for a step-by-step Discord safety checklist
If you grew up in the 90s or early 2000s, you remember the "Third Place." It was the mall, the skate park, or that one friend’s basement where parents were present but not hovering. For today’s kids, that place is Discord.
Originally built for gamers to talk while playing League of Legends, Discord has morphed into a sprawling universe of "servers" (essentially invite-only clubhouses). Each server is divided into "channels"—some for text, some for voice, and some for video. It’s like a mix of Slack, Zoom, and an old-school chat room, but with way more custom emojis and "Skibidi" memes.
Kids aren't just on Discord to play games. They are there to belong. In an era where "playing outside" is often scheduled and supervised, Discord offers a sense of autonomy. It’s where they:
- Trade Virtual Gear: In massive Roblox or Adopt Me! servers, kids negotiate trades for rare pets or items.
- Fandom Deep-Dives: Whether it’s Warrior Cats roleplay or discussing the latest MrBeast video, there is a server for every niche interest.
- Study Groups: Many high schoolers use Discord to screen-share while doing homework or prepping for exams.
- Art and Creation: Communities built around Scratch or Minecraft modding allow kids to show off what they’ve built to an audience that actually "gets it."
Fan communities on Discord aren't just passive message boards. They are active, 24/7 ecosystems. Here are a few examples of where your kids might be hanging out:
These are high-energy environments where kids learn the basics of supply and demand. They trade items from games like Murder Mystery 2. While it sounds like entrepreneurship, it can also be a breeding ground for "trust trades" (which are almost always scams).
These servers are often more creative and collaborative. Kids work together to build massive cities or complex Redstone machines. It’s essentially digital LEGOs on a global scale.
For older kids and teens, these servers are hubs for fan art, "theory crafting" (analyzing game lore), and finding teammates for co-op play.
Many popular YouTubers, from Dream to Markiplier, have official or fan-run servers. These can be great for feeling connected to a creator, but they are also massive and harder to moderate.
Discord officially requires users to be 13 or older. This isn't just a suggestion; it’s a COPPA (Children's Online Privacy Protection Act) requirement. However, we all know 11-year-olds are flocking to the platform.
Ages 9-12 (The "Proceed with Extreme Caution" Zone)
At this age, kids lack the digital literacy to spot sophisticated scams or grooming tactics. If you allow a "tween" on Discord, it should be limited to a private server with only real-life friends and family. Joining large public fan servers at this age is generally a bad idea.
Ages 13-15 (The "Trust but Verify" Zone)
This is when kids want to join larger communities. This is the time to sit down and go through the "Privacy & Safety" settings together. Turn off Direct Messages (DMs) from strangers and ensure the "Keep Me Safe" filter (which scans and deletes explicit images) is set to the highest level.
Ages 16+ (The "Consultant" Role)
By now, they likely know more about Discord than you do. Your role shifts to being a sounding board for when things get weird (and they will). Talk about "doxxing" (leaking personal info) and the reality that "internet friends" aren't always who they say they are.
Discord is a neutral tool, but the way it’s designed can lead to some "brain rot" behavior if left unchecked.
- The DM Danger: The biggest risks on Discord don't happen in the public channels; they happen in Direct Messages. This is where "predators" or "scammers" move the conversation to get kids to share personal info or photos. Rule #1: Disable DMs from people who aren't on your friends list.
- NSFW Channels: Discord allows "Age-Restricted" channels. While Discord tries to verify age, it’s easy for a kid to just click "I am 18." If your kid is in a random server for a mature game like Grand Theft Auto V, they will see adult content.
- The "Ohio" Effect: Discord is where internet slang is born and dies. If your kid starts saying everything is "mid" or "only in Ohio," they’ve likely been spending a lot of time in these communities. It’s mostly harmless, but it can feel like they’re speaking a different language.
- Robux Scams: If a server promises "Free Robux" or "Free Nitro" (Discord’s premium subscription), it is a scam. Period. They will often ask for your kid’s login info, and then—poof—the account is gone.
Ask our chatbot about the latest Discord scams targeting kids
Instead of asking "What are you doing on that app?", try these conversation starters:
- "What’s the coolest thing someone has posted in your Minecraft server lately?"
- "Are there any 'roles' in your server? How do you earn them?" (Roles are badges of status in Discord servers).
- "Have you ever seen anyone get 'banned' or 'kicked' from a group? What did they do?" (This helps you understand the community's moral compass).
- "If someone sent you a weird link in a DM, would you know how to block them?"
Discord is the modern-day equivalent of hanging out at the park after the streetlights come on. It can be a place of incredible creativity and friendship, especially for kids who feel like they don't "fit in" at school. However, unlike the park, the "park" in this case is connected to the entire world.
It isn't "brain rot" by default—being part of a fan community can teach digital etiquette, moderation, and even technical skills. But it requires an intentional parent to act as the "guardrail" while they navigate these sprawling digital spaces.
- Audit the Servers: Have your kid show you which servers they are in. If you see one called "Free Robux" or "18+ Chilling," it’s time for a talk.
- Lock Down DMs: Go to User Settings > Privacy & Safety and toggle "Allow direct messages from server members" to OFF.
- Set Time Limits: Because Discord is a "live" chat, it can feel impossible to leave. Use your phone's built-in screen time tools to ensure "just five more minutes" doesn't turn into 2 AM.
Read our full review of the Discord App Explore more alternatives to Discord for younger kids