TL;DR: Quick Recommendations for Navigating Loss
- Ages 3-5: Bluey (Show) — Specifically the episode "Copycat." It’s the gold standard for introducing death via a found bird.
- Ages 6-9: Coco (Movie) — A vibrant, musical look at memory and legacy that makes the concept of "the end" feel less like a void and more like a bridge.
- Ages 9-12: The Wild Robot (Book) — Peter Brown’s masterpiece explores the cycle of life and the necessity of loss in nature without being clinical or cruel.
- Ages 12+: Spiritfarer (Game) — A "cozy management game about dying" where you literally guide souls to the afterlife. It’s profound, beautiful, and deeply cathartic.
Ask our chatbot for a custom list of books about grief for your child's specific age
If you grew up on a diet of Disney classics, you know the drill: the mom is gone before the opening credits finish, or the dad takes a tragic fall into a wildebeest stampede. From Bambi to The Lion King, kids' media has been obsessed with death since the beginning.
But here’s the thing: just because it’s "classic" doesn't mean your five-year-old is ready for the existential dread of The Land Before Time.
As intentional parents, we often try to shield kids from the "heavy stuff." We use euphemisms like "went to sleep" or "went away on a long trip" (which, honestly, just makes kids afraid of naps and vacations). But death is a part of life, and stories are the safest sandbox for kids to test-drive those big, scary feelings before they hit home.
Kids are natural scientists. They see a dead bug on the sidewalk or a wilted flower and they have questions. If we don't provide the language for death through stories, they fill in the blanks with their own imagination—which is usually way more terrifying than the truth.
Media gives them a "controlled burn." They can experience the sadness of Charlotte's Web, close the book, and go have a snack. It builds emotional resilience. It teaches them that while death is "forever," the love and memories aren't deleted.
Ages 3–5: The "Is He Coming Back?" Phase
At this age, kids don't really get that death is permanent. They think it’s like a video game where you just hit "respawn." They need stories that are concrete and honest.
- The Go-To: Bluey. In the episode "Copycat," Bluey finds a budgie that doesn't make it. The show doesn't sugarcoat it. They go to the vet, the vet says the bird died, and Bluey spends the rest of the episode "playing" through the scenario to understand it. It is perfect.
- The Classic: Sesame Street. The 1983 episode where the cast explains Mr. Hooper’s death to Big Bird remains the gold standard for clear, non-euphemistic language.
- What to avoid: Anything where a character "dies" but then magically comes back to life five minutes later. It’s confusing for this age group.
Ages 6–9: The "Will This Happen to You?" Phase
This is when the realization hits: Oh, people I love will die. I will die. It’s the peak age for "death anxiety." Stories during this phase should focus on legacy, memory, and the "circle of life" (cliché, but effective).
- The Movie: Coco. It’s arguably Pixar’s best work. It frames death through the lens of being remembered. It takes the "spookiness" out of the afterlife and replaces it with family and music.
- The Book: The Jumbies by Tracey Baptiste. For kids who like a little edge, this draws on Caribbean folklore to explore the thin line between the living and the spirit world.
- The Discussion: This is a great time to talk about how different cultures handle loss. Check out our guide on teaching kids about different cultural traditions.
Ages 10–12: The Existential Tween Phase
Tweens are starting to understand the complexity of grief—that you can be sad and angry and even relieved at the same time. They can handle stories where the ending isn't "fixed."
- The Book: Bridge to Terabithia. It’s a gut-punch, but it’s a necessary one. It deals with sudden, accidental loss in a way that feels incredibly real to middle-schoolers.
- The Movie: Up. While the beginning is famous for making adults sob, the whole movie is actually a study on how to keep living after your person is gone.
- The Digital Angle: Many kids this age are playing Minecraft. If they play in "Hardcore Mode," death is permanent—the world they built is deleted. This is a surprisingly deep way for kids to experience "loss" of effort and time in a digital space.
Ages 13+: The Deep Dive
Teens are ready for the "No-BS" version of death. They want stories that acknowledge the unfairness of it all.
- The Game: Spiritfarer. I cannot recommend this enough. You play as Stella, a ferrymaster to the deceased. You have to care for these characters, learn their stories, and eventually, walk them to the "Everdoor" to say goodbye forever. It’s a masterclass in empathy.
- The YouTube Channel: Ask a Mortician. Caitlin Doughty’s channel is "death positive." She answers the weird, morbid questions teens actually have (like "what happens to a dead body in space?") with humor and radical honesty. It sounds dark, but it’s actually incredibly grounding.
Ask our chatbot for more "death positive" YouTube recommendations for teens
When you're watching Finding Nemo or reading Wonder by R.J. Palacio and the topic of death comes up, here are the rules of engagement:
- Use the real words. "Died," "Dead," and "Death." Avoid "passed away," "lost," or "went to sleep." For a kid, "losing" someone sounds like you just misplaced your keys. "Sleep" makes them terrified of their own bed.
- Validate the "weird" feelings. Sometimes kids laugh when they hear someone died. Sometimes they ask "Who gets their stuff?" This isn't them being sociopaths; it’s them processing a concept that is too big for their brains.
- Roblox and the "Oof." In Roblox, death is a meme. The "Oof" sound (now changed, but the culture remains) turned dying into a joke. Don't be surprised if your kid seems callous about death in games—it’s a different context. But use it as a bridge: "In the game, you come back. In real life, it’s different. Let's talk about why."
- The "Brain Rot" Factor. Be wary of some "Skibidi Toilet" style YouTube content where characters are "killed" in violent, nonsensical ways just for views. This isn't "stories about loss"—it's just mindless stimulation. Read our guide on identifying brain rot vs. quality content.
If a movie or book sparks a conversation, don't feel like you need to have a PhD in psychology. Just be the "Screenwise" parent:
- "What do you think happens to [Character] now?"
- "It’s okay to feel sad that they’re gone. I feel sad too."
- "Even though they died, what is one thing the other characters will always remember about them?"
If you're dealing with a real-life loss, these media items aren't just entertainment—they're tools. Use The Wild Robot to talk about the seasons of life. Use Coco to talk about how you’ll remember Grandma.
Your kid is ready for stories about death the moment they start asking about it. You don't need to wait for a tragedy to happen to have the conversation. In fact, it’s much better to explore these themes when the stakes are low—when the only thing that’s "died" is a pixelated bird in Bluey or a spider in Charlotte's Web.
Stories give them the map. You just have to be the one willing to sit on the couch and help them read it.
- Audit your library: Look for books that handle loss with honesty. Check out our list of the best books for grieving kids.
- Watch together: If you’re going to put on a "sad" movie, stay in the room. The "co-viewing" is where the magic happens.
- Ask the bot: If your kid just asked a question about death that made you short-circuit, ask our chatbot for a script on how to answer.