TL;DR: The "Must-Dos"
- Instagram: Ensure they are in a "Teen Account" (automatic for under 16) and check the "Sleep Mode" settings. Instagram
- TikTok: Turn off "Suggest your account to others" and set DMs to "No one" or "Friends only." TikTok
- Snapchat: Activate Ghost Mode immediately to hide their live location. Snapchat
- Discord: Enable "Keep Me Safe" to auto-scan and delete explicit images in DMs. Discord
- Quick Guide: How to set up social media parental controls
We’ve all been there: you’re trying to have a nice dinner, and your teen is laughing at something called a "Skibidi Toilet" multiverse saga while saying everything is "low-key Ohio." It feels like they’re living in a different dimension. But while the memes are mostly harmless brain rot, the digital infrastructure they live in is anything but.
By 2026, privacy isn't just about keeping your home address off the internet. It’s about managing AI data scraping, preventing "sextortion" scams that have become depressingly common, and making sure your kid isn't being served content that makes them feel like garbage. The platforms have actually stepped up their game recently—mostly because they were forced to by regulators—but the "default" settings are still designed to keep kids scrolling, not necessarily to keep them safe.
If your teen is on Instagram, TikTok, or Snapchat, they are navigating a world where their attention is the currency. Here is how you help them keep some of that value for themselves.
Instagram finally stopped pretending that 14-year-olds should have the same experience as 35-year-old influencers. In late 2024 and throughout 2025, they rolled out "Teen Accounts," which are now the standard for everyone under 16.
The Settings to Check:
- Private Account by Default: For kids under 16, this is now forced. If your teen is 16 or 17, they can opt for a public account, but you should have a real conversation about why they want that. If they aren't trying to be a professional Fortnite streamer, there’s zero reason to be public.
- Messaging Restrictions: Teen Accounts can only be messaged by people they follow or are already connected to. This is the single best defense against the "random creepy DM" phenomenon.
- Sleep Mode: This is a 2026 favorite. It mutes notifications from 10 PM to 7 AM and sends auto-replies to DMs. It helps break the "I have to reply now or I'm a bad friend" cycle.
Learn more about Instagram's latest safety features
TikTok is the king of "how did I get here?" You start watching a video about a recipe and three hours later you’re deep into "Corecore" edits. For teens, the privacy risks here are often about who can find them and who can interact with their videos.
The Settings to Check:
- Suggest Your Account to Others: Turn this OFF. This prevents TikTok from showing your teen’s profile to people in their phone contacts or "people with mutual connections." It keeps their digital life separate from their real-world acquaintances if they want it to be.
- Comments and Duets: Set these to "Friends" only. Allowing "Everyone" to Duet or Stitch a video is a recipe for digital bullying or unwanted attention.
- Family Pairing: This is the gold standard. You link your account to theirs. You don’t see their DMs (which they’ll appreciate), but you can set screen time limits and filter out keywords you don't want appearing in their "For You" feed.
Check out our guide on TikTok vs. Reels
Snapchat is the most stressful app for parents, mostly because everything disappears and the "Snap Map" is a literal tracking device. If your teen says they're at the library but they're actually at a party, the Snap Map will snitch on them—but it also lets everyone else know exactly where they are.
The Settings to Check:
- Ghost Mode: This is non-negotiable. It hides their location from the map. Even if they only share with "Friends," teens often have "friends" on Snap who are actually just acquaintances from three towns over.
- My AI Privacy: Snapchat’s AI bot is always at the top of the chat list. You can now restrict its access to your teen’s location and clear the data it has collected. It’s worth doing.
- Contact Me: Set this to "Friends" only. This prevents "Quick Add" suggestions from letting strangers jump into their inbox.
Ask our chatbot about Snapchat "My AI" risks
If your kid plays Roblox or Minecraft, they are almost certainly on Discord. It’s a great place for community, but it can get dark quickly if they join the wrong "server."
The Settings to Check:
- Keep Me Safe: Under the "Privacy & Safety" tab, select the "Keep Me Safe" option. This uses Discord’s AI to scan and delete DMs that contain explicit content before your teen even sees them.
- Server Privacy Defaults: Turn off "Allow direct messages from server members." This means if they join a public server for a game, people in that server can’t DM them unless they are actually friends.
Ages 13-14: The "Training Wheels" Phase
At this age, they are just getting their digital legs.
- The Rule: Accounts are private, location is off, and you have the passwords.
- The Conversation: Focus on the "Digital Footprint." Remind them that a "private" story can still be screenshotted.
Ages 15-17: The "Trust but Verify" Phase
They want autonomy. If you tighten the grip too hard, they’ll just get a "Finsta" (fake Instagram) or a burner Snapchat account.
- The Rule: They can have more public-facing features if they demonstrate they can handle the DMs.
- The Conversation: Focus on data and AI. "Do you want this company owning your biometric data?" is a much more 'mature' conversation than "don't talk to boys."
You might hear your teen argue that they need a public profile or fewer restrictions because they’re "building a brand" or "learning entrepreneurship" through Roblox or YouTube.
While it's true that some kids make bank selling digital clothes or streaming, 99.9% of them are just draining your bank account for Robux. If they are serious about the business side, treat it like a business: they do it on a "professional" account that you help manage, while their "personal" life stays locked down.
Read our guide on Roblox and real money
Instead of saying, "I’m locking down your phone because the internet is scary," try:
- "I saw this thing about how TikTok uses your data to train their AI. Let’s make sure they aren't taking more than they should."
- "I don't care where you are, but I don't want that random kid from the soccer tournament knowing where you are. Let's turn on Ghost Mode."
- "If someone sends you something weird, I'm not going to take your phone away. I just want to make sure the settings are blocking that trash before it gets to you."
You can’t protect them from everything. They’re going to see a weird meme, they’re going to hear a song with lyrics that make you cringe, and they’re definitely going to use "Ohio" in a sentence that makes no sense.
But you can build a digital perimeter. Privacy settings in 2026 are more robust than they’ve ever been—use them. It takes 15 minutes to go through these apps together, and it saves you months of headaches later.
- Audit Night: Spend 20 minutes tonight going through one app's settings with your teen. Start with Snapchat.
- Set the "Sleep Mode": If they have an iPhone or use Instagram, set those 10 PM cutoffs.
- Ask the Chatbot: If they’re asking for a new app you’ve never heard of (like whatever the 2026 version of BeReal is), ask us about it first.