If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

Name: Screenwise
Author: Screenwise

movie2025

38%

WISE Score

Avg. Tomatometer

A dark comedy-thriller about maternal crisis that critics loved but audiences found... exhausting. Definitely not family movie night material.

7.3/10

94%

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If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

movie

R, 2025

38%

WISE Score

Avg. Tomatometer

A dark comedy-thriller about maternal crisis that critics loved but audiences found... exhausting. Definitely not family movie night material.

7.3

94%

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7.3/10

94%

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Screenwise Verdict

Here's the deal: critics loved this movie, giving it a 92% on Rotten Tomatoes. Audiences? Not so much—6.7 on IMDb suggests people found it a slog.

This is a dark comedy-thriller about a mom whose life is imploding: sick kid, absent husband, missing person, therapist from hell. It's the kind of film that gets called 'ambitious' and 'darkly funny' by critics who watch 200 movies a year, but regular folks walk out feeling like they need a nap and a hug.

If you're into psychological dramas that blend comedy with existential dread, and you have the emotional bandwidth for a movie about maternal crisis, this might be your jam. But it's absolutely not for kids, teens, or even young adults. And honestly? With that audience score gap, you might want to wait until you're in exactly the right mood—or skip it entirely if you're looking for something actually entertaining rather than 'challenging.'

Age Fit

This is strictly adult fare (18+, realistically). While Common Sense Media says 15+, the psychological weight of maternal crisis, family breakdown, and thriller elements makes this better suited for mature adults who appreciate dark, challenging cinema.

WISE Breakdown

Wholesome

A dark comedy-thriller about a mother dealing with a child's mysterious illness, an absent husband, a missing person, and a hostile therapist relationship. The premise centers on crisis, family dysfunction, and psychological distress rather than emotionally healthy dynamics. While it may handle these themes with dark humor, the core content models stress and conflict rather than kindness or cooperation.

Imaginative

The genre blend of comedy-drama-thriller with a mysterious child illness and hostile therapist dynamic suggests an original narrative approach. The strong critical reception (92% RT critics, 77 Metacritic) indicates creative storytelling that likely takes unexpected turns. However, without details on execution, it's unclear how much it invites viewer creativity or exploration beyond passive viewing.

Safe

Common Sense Media rates this for ages 15+, indicating mature content. The thriller elements combined with a 'hostile' therapist relationship, missing person subplot, and mysterious child illness suggest psychological tension and potentially disturbing themes. The dark comedy tone may include uncomfortable situations. No MPAA rating provided, but the subject matter (family crisis, mental health struggles, missing person) likely contains content inappropriate for younger viewers.

Enriching

Strong critical acclaim (92% RT critics, 77 Metacritic) suggests meaningful storytelling with depth. The exploration of maternal struggle, mental health (therapist relationship), and family crisis under duress could offer insight into resilience and human complexity. However, the 6.7 IMDb and 78% audience score suggest general viewers found it less engaging than critics—possibly too dark or niche to be broadly enriching.

Parent Info

✓

Why It Might Be Great

Strong critical reception (92% on Rotten Tomatoes) suggests smart, well-crafted storytelling
Unique blend of dark comedy and psychological thriller could appeal to fans of unconventional narratives
Explores complex themes of motherhood under extreme stress and mental health with apparent nuance
The title alone suggests a darkly funny, irreverent tone that might resonate with adults dealing with life chaos

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What to Watch For

This is absolutely an adults-only film—the 15+ rating is the floor, not a recommendation
Heavy psychological content including family dysfunction, mental health crisis, and a missing person subplot
The gap between critic scores (92%) and audience scores (78%, 6.7 IMDb) suggests it's challenging, possibly slow or emotionally draining
Dark comedy tone means uncomfortable situations played for laughs—not everyone's cup of tea

Conversation Starters

"What do you think the title means in the context of Linda's situation?"
"Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed by multiple crises at once? How did you cope?"
"Why do you think the therapist relationship becomes hostile? What does that say about seeking help?"
"Does dark humor help us process difficult situations, or does it minimize real pain?"

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If I Had Legs I'd Kick You – WISE Score & Parent Review | Screenwise